I've ended my relationship

[yetanotherNC1]

I've never had to do it before, he's the only person I've been with and we have two children together. House all in my name and he has somewhere else to go and separate finances so at least that's easy.

I haven't wanted to be with him for a while, he's seriously depressed to the point where half the time he's in complete denial and it makes me feel like such a horrible person to end things but I can't keep living in the same miserable rut. Not knowing what mood I'm going to get next and walking on eggshells. I have tried my hardest to help him in anyway possible but I can't do anymore now. I can't fix him when he doesn't want to fix himself.

I just want to feel happy again and I don't think I can while I'm with him, he's making me feel very guilty - not sure if that's his intentions or not - but I just have to be strong now and not go back on my word or things will never change, I've gave him enough chances I think.

I don't really know why I'm posting, I think I just want a handhold.

Well done for moving on with your life,it's pointless to keep wishing things were different. Good luck with your new future.Will the children still see him?

Thanks so much for the reply. Yes the children will see him, it'll probably have to be at my house for a while until he gets his own property sorted but I would hate to think he wasn't seeing them when he's probably feeling quite vulnerable.

Whatever you do, don’t let him see the children at your house. Let him take them out, to see granny, whatever, but not in your house. Trust me, it’s a very bad idea.

Hand hold here 👋

You have dealt well with the practicalities and living with someone whose un willing or unable to help themselves is extremely difficult. You must have reached the point that you needed to rescue yourself and your children. You are most likely sad about this too? Which is natural as you’ve loved him and care about him.

Yes I'm very sad but I've been more sad with him, it's just a shame.

How old are your children?
The not seeing them at your home is a better idea, otherwise you can't move forwards.
Maybe meet somewhere, like a park, or activity, so you can judge how he coped, with a view to it becoming your free time.

Thanks so much for the advice, that is a better idea. They are 6 and 2.

This is true but can be a release of emotions when it’s finally “real” (if that makes sense).

I hope you’ve got something nice planned to look forwards to with the children - a park maybe?

Op, I second don’t have contact in your house, he can go to McDs or a park, swimming or to a museum etc. Keep home a safe space for the kids and you.

Well done for ending it, it clearly wasn’t working and hadn’t been for some time. Maybe this is what he needs.

You all deserve happiness 💐