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Relationships

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Original poster

Am I too sensitive

18 replies

Questions20 · 21/04/2019 06:25

My husband often which I feel criticises me. I don’t think if I’m too sensitive as because he is my husband I feel like his words hurt more than if it was someone else saying them. For example, he says I don’t clean the house properly. We are half way through decorating & I feel I do. I do all the housework, changing beds, cleaning, changing the bins, washing/drying clothes, weekly shop, cooking, making lunches, tidying up, he does work full time & sometimes Saturdays but I work full time too.

I’m not the girliest of girls, I do wear make up but not lots, I try my best to dress nice but I’m not the greatest at putting outfits together, I’m trying my best to lose weight ( I have half a stone to lose), he makes little comments about me sometimes. For example, you could have made an effort. Sometimes in a jokey way sometimes not.

I'm a nervous driver but trying to get better at it. I regularly get comments like what you going to be like when we have kids.

I don’t think he means anything to be nasty to me intentionally. I just feel like it’s so often. I’ve lost my temper at his comments before which I hate doing. I just feel like screaming sometimes. Honestly, I AM TRYING!

Ultimately I AM TRYING! I feel like I’m questioning if I am enough for him. I don’t know what to do with myself. I feel like I’m a failure. I don’t know if I’m being too sensitive & over reacting. My head is spinning.

OP posts:

senbei · 21/04/2019 06:29

In my opinion, being in a relationship shouldn't be this hard. You shouldn't have to constantly be worrying about meeting someone else's impossible standards. Do you feel loved? Do you feel like he cares for you? Relationships are a two way street, you know.

Pinkybutterfly · 21/04/2019 06:31

Sorry op. Does he have 2 working hands? If so why are you doing all the house work? Why are you allowing all those comments? He is rude. If I was you I would not touch anything home and let him do it. And so on with everything. Of he doesn't like how you dress then don't look at you, why is he making does comments? You need to stop him now. Are you happy in the relationship? Do you feel loved? Are you sure you want children with someone like him?vxxxxx

Nc1548 · 21/04/2019 06:31

I feel like I’m questioning if I am enough for him

Maybe you are asking the wrong question, you should be asking is he good enough for you.

You both work full time and you do all the housework? Why? And he goes on to criticise what you do? Hand it over for him to do better!

Someone who makes you feel bad about yourself is not a good partner.

pog100 · 21/04/2019 06:37

No you are not being too sensitive. Why on earth do you think this is an OK relationship? Why are YOU trying to change to be better? Your partner is the one supposed to be supporting you in life, making you feel better in a hard world, appreciate things you do for him.
You should be splitting all of the work equally between the both of you and praise each other for what you do.
I don't think that you are going to be able to make this work, because he isn't going to be able to change. I know it probably sounds drastic but you need to split and find a nice man. This is going to destroy you.

Bluntness100 · 21/04/2019 06:45

From what you've described no you're not too sensitive, he's subtly putting you down constantly and it's wearing away your self esteem.

My husband is always complimentary about how I look, even when I look like shite warmed up. If he says something needs doing in the house he knows full well I shall tell him to get it fucking down then.

I've never had to try to be something. I am just me. And he accepts that. Which is how it should be. If you can't just be you, and are always trying to be something better, then something is deeply wrong.

Why do you respond with you're trying though? I'd tell him to fuck off and retaliate with a negative comment of my own. If he says something needs doing in thr house, tell him to get on and get it down.You'll find he stops pulling that shit fast.

Really find your back bone, stop letting him bully you and stop doing everything in the house. This isn't the 1950s and you're not his personal maid.

finn1020 · 21/04/2019 06:50

He sounds mean. Why would he put you down and make nasty comments to someone he’s meant to love? That’s not a healthy relationship dynamic.

blackcat86 · 21/04/2019 08:18

It's not too sensitive to feel shit about someone making horrible comments about you when you're no doubt exhausted and bogged down with life. Do not have a baby with this man. Imagine all you're doing now plus sleepless nights, a screaming newborn and being in pain because you're recovering from birth. LTB. He doesn't sound like he actually likes you very much if he's so utterly appreciative of all you do

category12 · 21/04/2019 09:07

Why are you doing all the housework?

You both work fulltime, why isn't he doing any? He ought to be doing half of it without question, just doing it.

Don't stay with someone who criticises and nitpicks at you all the time, it will chip away your self-worth.

And Fgs don't have dc with him.

senbei · 21/04/2019 10:32

Actually, reading back, this whole relationship sounds worse than I'd thought in my initial post up there. Sounds to me like he wants a pretty wife he can control who does all the domestic work and supports him financially as well. You can do better, OP. Please don't have DC with this man.

AnduinsGirl · 21/04/2019 10:50

I am trying to be the best version of me. Trying to be a good wife. Trying to good at everything. Trying to get more sleep so I’m not tired for work. Trying to be a positive person. Trying to eat well & exercise. Trying to clean the house properly. Trying to cook nice dinners. Trying to make an effort with everything.
Do these chores REALLY make you the best version of YOU though? Aren't you more than a good little wife? I mean that nicely btw - where is the time for your interests, your passions? This sounds a dismal way of living. :(

cliquewhyohwhy · 21/04/2019 10:59

No your not sensitive at all your partner is just a dick!

Aquamarine1029 · 21/04/2019 17:17

Do not have children with this man.

xpc316e · 21/04/2019 17:31

You are definitely not being sensitive in the least. If I had any criticism of the way my partner did things, I would just keep my big mouth shut. It sounds as though your self-worth is being ground down on purpose, and it needs to stop before he makes you feel completely eroded and useless.

BiscuitDrama · 21/04/2019 17:33

What’s he doing while you’re doing housework?

Moomoomoomoomoo · 21/04/2019 17:46

Where is his effort? Why does it all have to come from you?

Doesitevenmatternow · 21/04/2019 18:34

He does not appreciate you. Being with him does not make you feel happy. Why are you with him? Why do you think he's good enough for you?

Topsy44 · 21/04/2019 19:37

You are not being sensitive. He is criticising you alot and that hurts.

I think if you are in a good healthy relationship, you shouldn't have to feel like you're trying to be something all the time. That is exhausting. You should just be you and that is enough for the other person.

You are doing everything in the house and he is finding fault in you. This is not a healthy relationship. He is making your self esteem go down and he must know that. Decent men don't do this. Decent men share the chores. Decent men don't put you down, they build you up.

starzig · 21/04/2019 19:39

Why is cleaning the house your job? I would tell him nah, not doing it.

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