My exh and I were together 17 years. At most of that time we had a very loving relationship. I would say passionate. But honestly, probably being kind to it. Definitely firey. Bordering on abusive. I put up with a lot of shit. He would argue I was fat, nag and boring. Possibly. Or I was a high earner, sick of a lazy arse and frustrated. I did everything. When he left, even his dad told me I was better off.
He had an affair when our youngest was born. Baby was v premature and in hospital for months. He didn't step up. I now know why.
He is still with her 5 years on.
Our relationship is worse than ever. I honestly have moved on. Not in terms of anyone else. But in every other way
Relocated. New job. Bought my own house. It's hard to stay I'm happy as such. But I'm at peace if that sounds corney?
Kids are suffering. I like to think he is to blame for our terrible relationship. He is disgusting in how he speaks to me. Swears and snears at me. But he so is now withholding money.
But my poor 9 year old DD is starting to make vocal how she is finding the whole thing difficult. She was 4 (the week she started reception) when he walked out. She adores her dad. But is not blind.
I know he is a cunt. But how do you ignore that? When he looks at you with pure hate and disgust, how do you ignore it? I've done nothing wrong. I think even he would struggle to say I had. But how do I hold my dignanty and not upset my poor dd?
I see other couples who have managed to avoid all this. Did they not have such a passionate love to begin with? Or were they quite simply not arseholes 
?
I guess I just want to know how you block out the twatness? I manage 90% of the time. But did lose it the other day and bubble over. My eldest gave me a high five 
. But later told me she didn't like it.
Tips? Am I just weak?