Hi everyone,
As the subject suggests i'm having a bit of an issue and don't know if i'm overreacting (i sometimes do) or enough is enough.
Me and my partner have been together 8 years (childhood sweethearts both 21 years old) things have been rocky over the years (he's cheated twice) but i managed to get over that we worked on our issues and things were getting better.
I had a baby 8 months ago (he's the dad) and things have just been TERRIBLE!! he was very unsupportive during my pregnancy (i had quite a difficult pregnancy) he was often out drinking, and didn't come to any baby classes with me. I confronted him with my issues and he said 'things will be better' and that he was nervous. We then moved into our home in June 2018 (first time living together not in parents house) and things were okay. I then had our daughter in August 2018 and things were really good while he was on his leave, he was very supportive.
Since he's gone back to work we have been arguing no stop, he works nights (12pm - 8am) and then sleeps during the day (normally 9am - 3pm ish). But sometimes wakes up earlier when he has things he wants to do and i guess this is my issue.
He refuses to help me with our daughter, he wont feed her, bath her, put her to bed, do her nappy, get her dressed etc etc.... doesn't even give a reason her just point blank refuses which causes most of the arguments as i feel like a single parent. But he's quite happy to go to the gym with his friends (twice a week) or sit on his xbox for hours on end or to go out with his friends but when i say about having 'family time' he says he's 'to tired'.
Most of the time on a weekend he'll go out and i wont hear a thing until he walks through the door at 1/2 o'clock in the morning. he says that 'because he works he only has the weekend as free time' but i personally think that his responsibilities should be to our daughter and to me? A few nights out are fine its just frustrating as i've finally managed to persuade him to wake up with her on a Saturday or Sunday morning (she normally wake up about 7am) so i can have an hour or so to myself but because he doesn't come back until the early hours he always says he's to tired and hes not doing it when i wake him up to be with her. He also rarely looks after her by himself (he probably done so 2/3 times since shes been born for maybe an hour or 2) i take her everywhere! shopping/swimming?walks/to the doctors with me/to meetings at work/ to baby groups/ to his family and mine etc....
Recently i have been a bit paranoid (he's been acting strange) so i looked at his phone (not something i would normally do) and he's been messaging someone else i'm unsure of the nature of the messages because he deleted them so there was only 1 for me to read but he changed the settings on her contact so he wouldn't get notifications for her messages.
Am i just being over paranoid? A lot of people say that the first year is always really tricky and stuff? but i really don't know what to do? im reluctant to throw in the towel as i have no money so i wont be able to afford rent/bills etc.. by myself?
Thank you in advance to anyone who actually reads that massive essay of my crappy life!