Do you ever get used to being second priority after work?

[snitchesgetcandy]

I’ve been with DP for three years, we moved in together 6 months ago. He is smart, funny and I love him very much.
But since moving in together we’ve been stuck in an endless cycle of arguing about his work. He has a job with a lot of responsibility and his clients always come first, I really struggle with this. E.g. last weekend our Friday evening plans had to be cancelled as he needed to work late, today we had plans for the day but they were also cancelled as something happened at work that apparently couldn’t wait. He is not a doctor nobody is going to die if he doesn’t respond immediately.
He does usually try to make it up when plans get cancelled but still it hurts knowing that no matter what is happening if the phone rings he’ll jump and run.
Does this get easier to except and if so how?

@snitchesgetcandy

Children have been discussed and we’d both like them although not just yet
Just try to ensure your contraception is as bombproof as possible because you'd be in a difficult and often lonely position, without a great support network, pregnant or on maternity leave given:

About a year ago he took over as managing director of his parents company and it’s gone downhill since then. I should also add for contex that I moved to the other side of the UK so he could take this job and I feel the fact I have very few friends in the area etc doesn’t help.

and

also I feel like I’m expected to be dropped the second work comes up but still be sat happily waiting with open arms whenever he wants.

I was with my ex 21 years. Not together now but looking back I see that I was always number 2 to work and then, when kids came along, number 3. I accepted it because i felt it was for the benefit of our family. Now i resent the things i did alone and cant believe i actually put up with it.

Communication is vital. My DH never lets me know when he’ll be home. It causes constant stress and frustration for me every day as I hav the kids asking if they will see him before bed or not. He is just so wrapped up in work that he doesn’t communicate. I actually think the fact we live close to his work makes it worse as he can think, oh I’ll just stay 10/20/30 more mins. If he had a commute and a long train ride I think he would have to manage his time better. If you can get communication sorted, then that will help with resentment.