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Original poster

Ex thinks he has a right to know where I am

13 replies

Inliverpool1 · 19/04/2019 08:34

Short story, I sometimes have to meet candidates for coffee after work, I’m a recruiter. I have a 9 year old and a 19 year old. I ensure both are fed and watered and pop out. Never gone for more than 1.5 hours. 9 year old has taken to calling his dad in this time andex thinks he is within his rights to demand to know where I am and what I’m doing.

Have told him to get stuffed to be honest but fully expecting a social services call. How do you deal with this. We’ve been divorced 6 years he’s getting married in September ffs

OP posts:
category12 · 19/04/2019 08:38

If your adult child is babysitting the younger one, I don't see the issue.

Original poster
Inliverpool1 · 19/04/2019 08:39

There isn’t one aside of him

OP posts:
category12 · 19/04/2019 08:42

Is your 9yr old unhappy?

Whisky2014 · 19/04/2019 08:43

He doesnt have a right to know

EL8888 · 19/04/2019 08:47

None of his business and l would remind him of this

AuntieStella · 19/04/2019 08:47

All DC2 need say us 'DMum is at work and DBro is looking after me'

Train him to say that and nothing more about you

Social Services will not be remotely interested in a child left in the care of an adult during parent's up-to-2-hour absences for work.

But you might like to put some thought in to why DC2 is doing thus - does he Ring his DDad frequently, so it's bound to coincide with your absences sometimes. Or is he actually unhappy at being left? As it is demands of job, you cannot really shed the evening commitments, but is there anything you can do to shorten them, change the timings, or group then differently? If there is anything bothering DC2" it wouid be a good thing to know what it is.

Original poster
Inliverpool1 · 19/04/2019 08:52

I know 9 year old isn’t happy and I am actually changing the arrangements so I have an au pair in the house 24/7 and I can work earlier and be home for 4pm most days. But given ex wouldn’t entertain going out of his way or changing his work to suit DS it’s a bit rich to say the least

OP posts:
LemonTT · 19/04/2019 08:53

Check with why the young one is doing this. I’m sure the older one is fine but you might just find he is not. Going out, having friends over or ignoring him. Something that bothers the younger one enough to go to his dad.

Original poster
Inliverpool1 · 19/04/2019 08:56

Probably ignores him. Not a lot I can do though tbh

OP posts:
MMmomDD · 19/04/2019 09:02

You can’t leave a 9yo on their own, not regularly, you know that.
It doesn’t matter that 1.5hrs seems like a short time to you. It is plenty of time for something bad to happen.
And the fact that your son calls his dad shows that the child isn’t comfortable on his own.
So - yes, child’s father is totally within his right to be concerned.
And so should be Social services.

You need to either get your adult child to babysit, or figure out some other solution that prioritises your younger son.

Wheresmyvagina · 19/04/2019 09:04

She's leaving the 9 year old with a 19 year old Hmm
OP you need to work out why your 9 year old isn't happy to stay with their sibling.

YouJustDoYou · 19/04/2019 09:10

She said she's changing the situation to have an au pair in 24/7.

Original poster
Inliverpool1 · 19/04/2019 09:15

MMmomDD - hard of reading ?

OP posts:
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