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Original poster

Visited my ex

5 replies

Wadingthroughshit · 19/04/2019 06:23

I had arranged to after he upped contact. He slept with another woman at the weekend, said he felt awful and wanted to see me. I felt very anxious about going as I've just got to good place, so I genuinely told him I couldn't afford the fuel (120mile round trip) ... He then put £100 in my account.
Why can't I just block? Why do I feel I have no choice.
He's on Tinder, and speaking with and meeting a few woman who were sort of in the background even when we were together. That's all fine, that's his choice, but I feel shit that I slept with him again, that I went back after months of work (including seeing a counsellor), that he's fine and I now I'm not sleeping properly again. He's manipulative and calculated. I feel shit.

OP posts:
Windmillwhirl · 19/04/2019 06:59

Don't feel bad, it really isn't the end of the world. OK, so you've taken a step back but block him now and think forward.

You know beyond a doubt that he is not the man for you. That is priceless. Some people go back and forward for months/years.

Original poster
Wadingthroughshit · 19/04/2019 07:18

Thank you. I can handle the regret of going, but I'm hurting and I'm angry and unjustifiably jealous. I've dated since we broke up, but it was more a distraction, both of us knew it wasn't serious.
I think also, I feel a bit dirty. My ex really really had a thing for me sleeping with other men...a REAL thing, spoke about it constantly. And it was the same this week. And the woman he slept with, he said he did it for me, he wanted to turn me on. I had NO involvement in this. I have said on the past it would turn me on, but I did it because I wanted the attention off me (I know now, how stupid and mad this is).

I feel yuck and used and I'm overthinking because I haven't slept.

OP posts:
bigchris · 19/04/2019 07:36

Oh gosh i once knew a man like this

We'd go out and he was always encouraging me to pull, go off into the loos with another man and tell him about it

It quickly evolved to wanting to see me having sex with someone else so he bought a web cam radio thing and set it all up online with my consent

Because it made him so excited and happy before and after i got swept along and went along with it

It's hard to explain but just wanted to let you know you're not dirty and it's not just you

Original poster
Wadingthroughshit · 19/04/2019 07:52

Bigchris did you enjoy it? Or was it more a caveat you endured to get to the 'good stuff', like love and affection?

OP posts:
bigchris · 19/04/2019 09:28

Yes exactly that Sad

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