Photos of stepson and I

[Rickyd]

Hi
I have been with my husband around four years and last year we have done a family
Portrait which included having photos of us and my step son (my husbands son).

Around 6 months ago The child mother and my husband ex wife came to pick up the child and saw photos. Nothing was said however today my husband said to me if the photos caused his ex wife to be angry...this had resulted in a fight as I have said that why have you brought this up today and I thought these photos represented our family.

My husband has claimed that he doesn’t care or worry about his ex wife feelings but I would like disagree on this.

Can anyone shed their side? Thanks

I can understand the ex wife having a pang of jealousy at seeing the photos of she wants your husband back but to express that emotion to your husband is rather unpleasant.

You would think she would be pleased that you care about her son.

Maybe your husband didn’t want any aggro from her and appeased her at the time by agreeing with her.

How strange that he would mention her anger 6 months after the fact.

If he couldn’t care less about her feelings, why did he mention it? Was he trying to put you on the back foot?

Surely he set her straight. You three are a family unit. You are her son’s step-mother and of course will be included in photos. He obviously thought it appropriate when the photos were made.

Can you calmly ask your husband why he mentioned this today? If his ex wife saw the pictures 6 months ago did she tell your husband then that she was upset or has she just said to him recently?
She may feel a little jealous seeing photos of your 'perfect' family but saying she is angry about the pictures rather then talk to your husband about what is really bothering her. I"d be interested to know if they were having disagreement about something else when she brought this up.
Why do you disbelieve your husband when he says he doesn't worry about her? They have a child together so it would be good for your stepson's sake if they are, at least, respectful towards each other.
I think you should just enjoy your pictures. You do not need to be too involved in your husband's dealings with his ex but be supportive if he is worrying about money or similar.

How have things been otherwise between you and your husband?

There was no good reason for him to mention her anger/jealousy. How could such information help you? It could only make you feel uncomfortable.

I’m really unclear about his intention. He wasn’t asking you to put the photos away, was he? You can display whatever pictures you want in your own home.

I have lots of photos in my house of me with DSD. It’s my house after all and she is part of my family. DSD’s ex has visited on a few occasions (over the last 14 years) and I’ve never even considered this a problem and she’s never expressed it as an issue.

I can understand she maybe upset if she was still in love with him, but after 6 months since this occurred him being upset is just odd....

Thank you everyone for your comments.

My husband just made this comment today and I believe the ex wife hasn’t mentioned anything. So I am trying to understand why he would mention this after her visit 6months ago...:

It seems like something and nothing, why are you bothered about it?

because he is angry about something else and it has come to mind. Maybe ex has said something annoying to him? Maybe ex has new partner? Maybe someone cut him up on the road? Have you criticised him?

I can’t see a good reason for just asking him ‘Hey, you know you mentioned that photo earlier? What made you suddenly think about what x said about it 6 months ago?’. It’s not an inflammatory question as he was the one that brought it up.