my pre-teen dd says she's so unhappy here she wants to live with her dad

[maximummummy]

my dd (12) says she's so unhappy living with me and dp that she'd rather go and live @ her dad's
i feel so upset about it BUT in a way i don't blame her . We have always clashed but since her hormones have kicked in i've found it really hard to like her OBVIOUSLY i still love her but i often don't want to be around her. She is an amazingly GOOD girl compared to myself @ her age and people always comment on how lovely/well behaved she is BUT @ home she's really awful.

I think you have already had some good support here but I just wanted to add my own experiences from a childs angle.
I too felt this way when I was about your dd's age. I remember that being at my dads was just fun, he rarely set me any boundaries and rules and when I went over I got a lot of attention.
Of course my mum was doing all the hard work, I see that now. I can never forget how hurt and upset she was when I came home from my dads and told her I wanted to live with him. She talked to me about it and asked me to think it over for a few weeks.
After a while I lost interest in the idea - thank god. My mum and I are so close and I now see my dad for the irresponsible selfish immature twat that he really is.
I agree with others about encouraging dd to stay at her dads a couplke of times a week as a compromise. This will give you both a break from each other at this difficult time and let her spend the time with her dad that she is missing. It could also be worth setting aside some time just for the two of you during the time that she spends at home, doing something that you both enjoy.
good luck, I hope things work out for you.