Is he just interested in sex?

[ikkledudette]

Hi there, I am a first time poster. I have been seeing a guy for a couple of months whom I met through OLD. We clicked instantly and were clearly attracted to each other. We DTD on the second date and have been at it like rabbits ever since. I have no problem with this, but when I think about, it almost feels like something is missing when we're together.

We message loads via WhatsApp throughout the day, but when we're together, we don't seem to talk much at all. I have stayed at his a number of times as I do not currently have my own place for him to visit. It has become a given that I go to his, have dinner, watch a movie and then we sleep together. I am wondering how I can shift this pattern.

Don't you ever go out? Suggest going out and doing something rather than staying in at his house

If you’re looking for a longer term relationship then after a couple of months is a reasonable time to ask him where he sees this going and whether you want the same things. You don’t have to rush into anything heavy, but an idea of whether you’re in the same page is useful for you both.

The sort of things you’re describing do, if I’m honest, sound like what I do with my more casual FWBs: we hang out and have sex and go out for drinks or dinner but there’s no deep and meaningful talk (which suits both parties.) Whether the guy you’re seeing also has this attitude is hard to tell - he could also just not be much of a talker.

I was seeing someone I met via OLD last year for 6 weeks and we got into that kind of pattern pretty quickly too, resulting in things fizzling out after 6 weeks!

I think it's important at this stage to still 'date' and go out together, rather than getting stuck in this routine you talk about. There is plenty of time for that.

It's too easy to slip into that pattern, I've done it too. I hadn't thought of it like this before now but, it's exactly what I'm struggling with.

I'm hoping that summer weather will mean more opportunities to get out on date type activities.

I'm following for ideas of how to change it. I'll start with a conversation about wanting to go out and about not just eat, sex and sleep and repeat.

Well I tried to have the conversation but it was neatly sidestepped, I think it's time to call it a day, he decided to go and do his washing rather than hang out with me after we'd dtd. That was telling me eh?

Suggest meeting up for a walk (or something that appeals to you) - if he just wants you to come over, then meh.

I mean, here we are on a long weekend, sunny weather, suggest somewhere to meet up.