Relationship advice?
I think I need to completely open to someone but unfortunately I can't do that with anyone whom I'm close with.
I've been with my fiancée for 4 and half years. At first things have been really great, although I always remained distant contact with a ex boyfriend. It first started because we purely couldn't avoid each other - we was in the same lectures. We always had a flirty relationship even after we split up. We mainly broke up because to be totally honest we was so young. It's been 5 years since we split now.
Then we would see each other on nights out and since then he has moved away to a city where he works. He had remained contact with me, sometimes messaging. Although he picks and chooses when he wants to speak.
I can openly ask about his love life ( although I think part of me knows he won't have anyone else or at-least wouldn't tell me)
And he will never ask how me and my partner are doing, my partner now has not been a saint but defo a respectable loving partner. He's so supportive although I just not sure we have a spark. He doesn't even try to rekindle things and sometimes I feel like he doesn't truly know " me"
This could be caused by the fact we have had 3 miscarriages in the last year. This has caused major disagreements and upset. We both try to be positive but I have more of the we only live once attitude and tbh my ex doesn't. He's also slightly older than me so is very happy to settle ( being a mum is all I ever wanted but I feel it's totally out of reach). So I just feel like giving up on it.
my ex looked after himself incredibly well and my partner makes very unhealthy decisions in respects of what he eats and smokes ( although we have been advised he changed that to help the chances of a healthy pregnancy, he doesn't and it drives me crazy). I think because my ex did it so easily it drives me nuts with my current partner that he can't do it, even for the sake of a baby.
Me and my partner have so much together, but I don't even think he realises he's losing me. He's been very short with me since the miscarriages and telling me I'm a horrible person as sometimes I felt he didn't understand what my body had gone through.
I'd be resting just days after surgery and he would tell me I needed to get up and help cleaning.
We have only gone out in the last two years if I suggest it and normally it takes me crying before he agrees to go on a date. I'm only 23 I just want to feel young and loved. Maybe I'm craving that young love feeling?
My ex no's nothing of this and really was my first love. He honestly broke my heart so much and when my now partner came along he sorta sweeped me off my feet.
I've seen my ex out a few times and although we only catch eyes, I think we both know we need to speak in person. There was a lot unsaid and done when we broke at the tender age of 18.
We was all we ever knew as we had been together since we was 14. I've tried telling him that we need to cut contact and we did for a long time, but then a family member of his passed and i felt I had to pay my respects and offer support.
Do I cut all ties? I know one day we will have too, but I just don't know how or when? How do I approach this with him?
My partner I'm with now does know we have some contact but I can't be completely honest with him how I'm feeling because I'm not to sure myself? I've always been so sure of my current partner and recently I'm just feeling not so sure?!