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Original poster

How do u choose or shall I ditch both ?

15 replies

Soconfused84 · 16/04/2019 09:59

Ok looking for some advise as I'm in a right old pickle . Been seeing new partner for about 2/3 months , he is a really caring guy, but and here is the big but he is out of work at the moment and it's making the situation hard as I'm a single mum of 3 so I'm struggling myself, I've tried to help by giving him petrol money if he ever picks me up etc but now im struggling so I won't be goibg down this weekend now oh and also ge is terrified of the dog 🙄. The confusing part is my ex is back on the scene he has a stable job, owns his own place, etc but think we rushed into it way to quickly. I met him for a drink last week and he txt me later that evening saying how much he had missed me and he was gutted I'd moved on. Aaaaaaaah I'm so stuck I'm thinking of goibg back to the drawing board

OP posts:
FuriousVexation · 16/04/2019 10:07

Is your ex your DC's dad?

frenchonion · 16/04/2019 10:07

Back to drawing board. You don't sound enamoured with either. No reason to force yourself to settle with either.

LuluBellaBlue · 16/04/2019 10:07

An adult that terrified of a dog? He needs to get that sorted unless your dog is vicious.
Anyone who doesn’t like my animals goes straight in the bin pile! Grin
How king has he been out of work and is he actively looking for work?

Original poster
Soconfused84 · 16/04/2019 10:23

No ex isn't DC's dad. Urm no dogs soppiest ever but the breed he is , he had one set on him a few years back so he really is struggling with it. He has been out of work for 5 weeks now and yes he is actively looking all day everyday .

OP posts:
Dieu · 16/04/2019 10:29

How can an unemployed man, who takes petrol money off you, an attractive prospect for you, OP?
It doesn't matter how nice he is; the reality is that in your position, you need somebody who is a bit more sorted in life.
Or just focus on yourself and your children, and be on your own for a while. At least until you figure out what you want, and work on your boundaries and expectations.

Original poster
Soconfused84 · 16/04/2019 10:31

I'm just too nice that's my problem , I just feel sorry for him cause I know how hard it can be ifswim

OP posts:
TheStuffedPenguin · 16/04/2019 10:39

Be on your own until your head is clear !

LooUpdate · 16/04/2019 10:39

3 months is no time at all. Bin it.

stacktherocks · 16/04/2019 10:41

YABU to call him your partner after a couple of months :S I really hope he’s not involved with your kids already.

Dieu · 16/04/2019 10:42

In the nicest possible way OP, too nice to men. As the money you're giving to him, while struggling yourself, is money that should be reserved for you and your kids.

HeckyPeck · 16/04/2019 10:43

I’m not sure it sounds like it has a future. If he’s terrifed of dogs how could he ever move in etc? I also think if you were that into him you wouldn’t be debating between him and the ex.

Why did you and the ex break up? (You don’t have to answer just something for you to think about.) Has anything changed that would mean those reasons don’t apply any more?

MMmomDD · 16/04/2019 10:43

Op - you have three children...
Maybe focus on them?
You moved them in and out of some guy you now are having drinks with...
You are calling a guy you’ve know for 2 mo - a partner?

🤷🏻‍♀️

CandidaAlbicans · 16/04/2019 10:49

Regarding the present one, for me it would depend on why he's unemployed, how proactive he is in finding work, and what his job prospects are. So that's not necessarily a problem if it's likely to be short term. But, him being terrified of the dog is not going to work.

The ex? It depends on why you split up and if those reason have been resolved. However, I'm not a fan of looking back, and I suspect he's all keen on you at the moment is because you're dating again. I'd forget about both of them and start again.

Original poster
Soconfused84 · 16/04/2019 11:27

Sorry no he is far from my partner didn't mean to word it like that 🤭 noooo not met the kids nooo way , way way way too early and yes the dog thing is an issue , he is trying tho , but I agree for a casual thing yes but serious I don't see it working , long term and don't want to get attached , I'm going to tell him I can't see him this weekend as i don't have the funds or a dog sitter , and I'm going to just enjoy it with yje kids , have a bit of head space .
As for the ex, I personally think he had his head turned (he denies this) but realised the grass isn't greener , we stayed in contact the whole time though which was nice 😁

OP posts:
HeckyPeck · 16/04/2019 14:17

After the update I think definitely both for the bin.

The ex thought the grass might be greener but kept you on the back burner? That’s a big old nope from me!

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