Carseat

[Molosa]

Hello Mums,
I really need some advice. Last week my partner’s sister shared and Instagram story which showed their niece who just turned one in March in their car in a forward facing car seat. Besides the fact she shouldn’t be in a forward facing car seat yet, she had a puffy vest on which meant the straps to the carseat weren’t over her shoulders but down the side and her straps were loose. I proceeded to reply back and tell her in a nice way that it’s not best to have the puffy vest on and that the straps are in the incorrect place and she went off on me. She completely lost her shit and started swearing and saying it was none of my business. I explained to her that I was only concerned for the safety of the baby but this didn’t sit well with her. We’ve never had an arguement before and when I told my partner (we’re not married), he said that technically the little girl isn’t my niece so I shouldn’t of said anything. It felt like I got low blow after low blow. I’m feeling really deflated at this point. What should I do?

If you made a patronising response publicly on Instagram then I'm not surprised she was angry. It's really none of your business.

While you were perfectly correct, on both points, how on earth did you expect her to react... ? You say you were only concerned about the safety of the baby implying that she isn't.

None of your business really is it!
I didn't like the way my MIL used a crap old car seat - I did say to her politely and privately that I would suggest she bought a newer one (it was bloody ancient and handed from about 3 friends friends - no idea the history etc). Whenever she had my son I gave her my car seat and installed it in her car. But this was my own son we were talking about and my relative, and I had the conversation in private with her. You've humiliated someone you're not related to on a public forum and the child isn't your child. If it was your child that's one thing but still don't do it online for all to see! But it wasn't your child and not even a relative of yours. You probably come across really bitchy online by doing things like that.

Could you not have had an informative conversation in a less public or condensing way?

Oh I replied via Instagram message. So it was responded to privately.

Well take it as lesson learned not to interfere in other people's business, apologise and move on.

@Molosa it would still be taken personally and critically. You have crossed a line, you aren’t family. You could have had a word in private face to face, or spoken to your partner, her brother. Instead you have probably ruined your relationship with her by criticising her parenting, right or wrong. You handled this badly

Well I’m family as she is the aunt to our child. She doesn’t have any children as this was my partner’s other sisters child.

Then in that case it’s even less to do with you, if the parents want to kick off so be it, it is none of your business.

I probably would have said something but without it being obvious. Such as turning it on to me and seeing what she said.
Alternatively I would have had a quiet word with the child's mum just in case they weren't aware. That being said I don't know the family and how they'd react. There's probably members of my own family that I wouldn't even try to have that conversation with!

I would have had a hard time not saying anything! That is an accident waiting to happen. Stopping suddenly could have the child being seriously injured let alone a full on accident😡.

I am an ex-child seat tech and retired law enforcement and the amount of people who don’t use child seats properly is astounding. I know in Canada car accidents was and probably still is in the top 3 reasons for child death.

I am frequently still talking to people about their car seats🤷‍♀️ I usually preface by saying me old qualifications and I just want to chat…. Most people are open to it.

I think you definitely did the right thing. She certainly can be in a ff seat at that age (it’s idiotic, but most people do it), but the straps being poorly fitted and the puffy vest definitely need pointing out. Can you imagine if they were in an accident and her child died and you hadn’t said anything? As long as it was done privately and respectfully, you did the right thing.