What to do about periodic booty caller?

[Fjfs]

I've seen a guy a few times over the past year for a FWB sort of booty call set-up.
January I decided I wasn't happy with the relationship the way it was, and asked him whether he wanted to date.
He replied saying that he was weird and no good at dating.
I replied fine, no worries, no more sex for you!

All fine.

About a month later he texts me out of the blue asking whether I'm dating. I told him to mind his own business.

Again, earlier this evening, he has texted asking whether I'm dating anyone. I told them that I have a queue forming not that it's any of his business.

Why does this dude not just fuck off into the great blue yonder? He's a nice chap, honest in his dishonest intentions, so it's not like I feel the need to block him or anything.

He just annoys me. Like he can text me out of the blue and expects me to tell him whether I'm dating someone or not!

I suppose I could block him, but he's been a good friend to me over the year, so I'm not keen to do that, just in case I need him in the future (I realise that sounds cold). We also drink in the same pub, so I'd bump into him every now and again anyway. He's insufferably shy and awkward though, so I could get away with just saying hello - he'd never initiate a conversation really - well he does sometimes, but he's as odd as two left feet so he'll see me in the pub, ignore me and then text me!

I suppose in a way it's nice to have a little male attention at the moment as I've been a bit of a recluse. Meh!

You'll probably hear from me again in June when he tries to suss out whether I'm up for a booty call again lol.

If he wanted a proper relationship with you, he’d have started one in January when you (perfectly reasonably) asked if he wanted to.

This isn’t going anywhere OP. No one on here is going to tell you that he’s interested in you as a partner.

If you think he's autistic, then you're going to have to be clearer than "mind your own business lol". If he was asking you because he's changed his mind about wanting a relationship, would you still be interested, or has that ship sailed now? You need to ask him why he wants to know - does he want to date you properly or is he trying to resume the FWB arrangement - then you'll know how to respond in a way that makes it clear.

"None of your business" and the likes seem flirty and playful.

If you want to shut this down; you need to be clearer with him.

Given your comment about liking the attention and your responses to him, though, I suspect you're keeping him hanging just incase - which is fine; but he knows that and that's why he's still texting.

Send something like this:

Hi. As already explained, I am no longer interested in a FWB arrangement, and want a proper relationship. If you are not able or willing to explore this possibility, then please never contact me again. You being on the back burner is confusing for us both, blurs the boundaries, and impedes me from doing what I need to do. If we see each other in public, then it would be nice to do the civil thing and say hi. But otherwise let's leave the thing we had in the past, and move on'.

It shouldn't be this difficult or complicated, OP.

Maybe he's had a change of heart and is now wondering if a relationship is still a possibility?

Why not answer him? Or ask him why he wants to know? If he then says he fancies hooking up, you can tell him straight again no more FWB and then block him.

Well if he's keeping me on the back burner, I can surely keep him on the back burner.

I guess the attention is nice every now and again.

Nothing wrong with keeping him on the back burner. However, getting annoyed because he keeps getting in touch, is being silly

omg

I'm not annoyed. More bemused.

Are you just having a bit of a stealth boast about how varied and exciting your sex life is? Cos I can't really see what the point of asking for advice was, if you're not actually that bothered about him texting you and you like the attention. If you want to know why he's doing it, why not ask him?

When have I ever said that I had a varied and exciting sex life?

On the contrary, I've been seriously ill for the past 6 months or so, so even if I felt like having sex, I wouldn't be up to it.

But nice leap you made there to try to insult me for some strange reason, best known to yourself.

Why does this dude not just fuck off into the great blue yonder?...He just annoys me

I guess the attention is nice every now and again

If the messages you're sending him are anything like as mixed as the ones your sending us, no wonder this guy can't get it right.

Decide for yourself :

If you want FWB
If you want to try dating hin
If you want him to leave you alone

And then act accordingly.

In your OP you said you had a queue forming! Was that just what you said to him to try to get him to leave you alone? It's not really an unambiguous "go away" - and obviously he hasn't taken it as one either.

I said that I told him that I had a queue forming, not that I actually have a queue forming.
We've an odd means of communicating.

So, dumped him in Jan.
Messages in March were along the lines of the following:

Well how are you?
Me: Well look what the cat dragged in
How's life
Me: Good
Thought you'd be out or at least getting some loving
Me: We no need to be disturbing me in such case
Cool, I'll leave you be

Roll onto yesterday........

How are you?
Me: Fine
Any fella yet? Any fun
Me: No fun
No fella?
Me: Any amount of them if I felt like it
oh it seems you're getting some then
Me: Why would it be any of your business?
True. I'll leave you be so

Now if they're not booty texts I don't know what is!
I haven't flirted with him, these are the only exchanges we've had since I told him no more sex in January.

He's not offensive, more nosey I suppose!

Do you like him op? I assume, since you wanted the fwb arrangement to progress, that you do. Maybe that's why you haven't deleted his number yet?

Are you posting in the hope that one of us will say that he won't fuck off into the wild blue yonder because he secretly likes you or has changed his mind?

Maybe he's just bored.
I'm not sure whether he's terribly shy or just plain fucking awkward.
I think he likes me, but I think he was being honest when he said 'I'm weird'.

He has a very senior engineering role and is highly intelligent.
But he's just odd.
I like him because it's just 'easy' being with him, but there's no point in pursuing anything with him as he clearly doesn't want to.
No need to fall out with him and block him though as he's never done anything to upset me or hurt me.

God only knows why I posted. Yes, I do kinda like him. Just can't figure him out though.

Because I think he probably does a sort of round robin every few weeks where he contacts anyone he thinks might be up for a shag.

The fact that you're not dating yet, haven't deleted him, reply to his messages is enough encouragement to keep on doing it.

Be forceful and clear, delete his number and never be disturbed or bemused again.

It's a shame that you like him. It would've been nice if he'd reciprocated. I still think deleting would be the kindest thing to do for yourself. He knows where to find you if he changes his mind.

I doubt he has that many takers to be honest - it's hard to describe how shy he is. He's too odd to date I'd say. We just happened to have gotten together and have a lot in common. I'm more outgoing.

That's the thing, it doesn't upset me when he gets back in touch. Intrigues me moreso. Just chancing his arm probably, but at the same time, I think that if the chips were down and I desperately needed help, that he would help me.

I'm happy just being friends. He doesn't bother me. He's a nice guy. I suppose I'm trying to figure out what's going through his head/dick.

Booty calls (ime) are normally more direct than that.

If you don’t want booty calls just tell him, no harm in that.

I don't need to tell him, the two conversations have ended with sort of 'fine I'll leave you alone' comments.