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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Ex partner

7 replies

Fee2020 · 15/04/2019 20:04

Hi, I'm new to this but I just wondered how other single mothers cope with being completely ignored by the father of your child? We were in a relationship for only 3 months and I fell pregnant at 40 years old. My first baby. He was separated and we met online. He put me through absolute hell whilst pregnant with drunken phone calls, then apologies etc etc. He didn't come to see me when I was pregnant and has yet to meet his son. He pays maintenance. His ex was extremely nasty to me when we first started dating. She accessed his phone and blocked me from apps. I found out that he hadn't told anyone about his son as he told me that himself and his ex thought it best that our son remained a secret from his two daughters. I haven't heard from him in over a year and I had to recently phone him as my 2 year old son was really unwell thus I needed medical information and the voicemail was his ex. I was in touch with his father when I was on FB last year and they had no idea about my son. I know he's a waste of space but I don't know why it upsets me so much. I really want to move on as I have a lovely little boy and supportive family. His father blocked me on messenger after being so lovely on the phone to me. I also received a message from his sister in law who told me she'd send her teenage boys to meet me and teach me all about safe sex! As you can imagine I came off FB etc as I was so upset. I'm from a good family, I work full time in a good job and he now lives in Spain and works offshore. I'm probably just feeling sorry myself and tbh I feel a bit better after typing this out x

OP posts:
category12 · 15/04/2019 20:08

Tbh it sounds like you're well out of it and would do well to embrace his absence.

Fee2020 · 15/04/2019 20:16

Thanks. I just sometimes feel quite upset by it all. I'm needing to get a grip and move on x

OP posts:
BumbleBeee69 · 15/04/2019 20:21

I wouldn't want any child of mine associating with this shameful state of a family. Take the opportunity given and close this door, in fact slam it shut and turn the lights off. Flowers

coffeeismybestie · 15/04/2019 20:21

Don't know what to say, but peace can be worth more than anything and with him gone that is what you have.
These people sound like attention seeking loons. I don't usually advise this, but don't poke the beast, leave him alone and raise your ds. You don't want him to change his mind and start demanding to see the ds.

Fee2020 · 15/04/2019 20:38

Thank you all for your advice x Sometimes just venting helps me know what I already know if you get me x

OP posts:
coffeeismybestie · 15/04/2019 20:47

Vent always, if it helps. You aren't wrong to be upset or feel sad. And sometimes it does help to go over what an arse they are. Good luck and I hope it all gets better

Fee2020 · 15/04/2019 20:59

Thank you xx

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