My brother crack addiction

[Jadeyreggie]

Am worried sick about my older brother hes a 40 year old living with my mum after a marriage break up and is constantly asking for money off my mum and her boyfriend lieing to them both asking off me and my other siblings we all know whats it for drugs! And he lies he needs it for work etc when we know hes lost his job car etc hes got to the point where hes asking neighbour's he gets angry at my mum when she dont give him money am so scared hes going to end up doing crime and he owes so much money out now to people now they will all want it back he has rang me up crying for money like hes in pain i gave in and then i cried after

Ive got 3 kids and a job but all am thinking about is the mess my brother is in

I can't sleep at night thinking worrying what hes doing to get money to get his fix

You’re brother needs professional help! Do not give him any more hand outs and tell your parents not to either! The best thing you can do for him is seeking some rehabilitation for him. Sit him down and explain to him that his addiction is out of hand, he needs to change his life or he will loose his family and friends for good! He is lucky to have your parents to fall back on for a roof over his head!
He needs to be ready and willing to co-operate with a rehabilitation programme though with no excuses moving forward, if not tell him you will wash your hands of him!

He is not worried sick about you and will continue to use you so long as you let him. Stop listening to his crying down the phone, do not give into his entreaties and harden your own self here. Money that you have would be better off being spent on your own children. Giving him money would not and has not helped him, you've enabled him and that only gives you a false sense of control.

You need to get off the merry go around of enabling yourself before you get further caught up in his dysfunction.

You cannot help him and you have to accept that but you can and should help your own self here.

Contact Adfam or Families Anonymous for support. They can and will help you

Families Anonymous is based on the same principles as Alcoholics Anonymous. It runs local support groups for family and friends of people with a drug problem.
Helpline number: 0845 1200 660

There is a good rule of thumb:

When you please an addict, you are enabling them.
When they are angry with you, you are probably trying to save their life.

Yes i tottaly agree with you all
We are going to try and sit him down tonight and tell him he needs help we will help him go rehab but not with money
I just want some advice off people if they have been through a simaler situation

Thank you

He needs to see his Dr/get in contact with the drugs team or whatever arrangement there is in your area. They will be able to assess whether he is ready for rehab or not. And may be able to find some funding for him or get him on a waiting list.

Honestly there is a good likelihood he is already committing crime for drugs money. If he doesn't have a job how else would he get it? Addiction is expensive
You have all done well to still have all your possessions...

Better for him to get a foot in the door with services by choice than through the courts.

"We are going to try and sit him down tonight and tell him he needs help, we will help him go rehab"

He will not listen readily if at all to the above.

Unless he himself wants to go to rehab of his own accord and with no coercion from anyone else at all it is a waste of time. No clinic would want to take him currently because he himself is showing no sign that he wants to give up. He still has the likes of you enabling him.

Hard as it is to accept, you can only help your own self ultimately and I would urge you to seek support for your own self. Put your lifevest on before helping others. You cannot save anyone who may also not want to be rescued and or saved.

The crack addiction is most overwhelming when you're high on it. Those last 20 minutes after you run out and have no money are frantic. But the best thing I ever realised is that it immediately gets easier after that, the cravings leave you for that day, and theres noo physcial withdrawal symptoms. I would say if he calls you, call him back in a few hours, even tell him to wait and see how he feels, make it clear you know where the money is going, he probably still feels bad about asking, but nt enough, so let him dwell on it. This might sound like touchy feely bollocks, but it worked for me

Get him away from parents if possible or he will end up financially abusing them.

Community drug suppport would take him. This depends on your location as to what it is. We have a service here called Renew. Realistially he isnt going to stop straight away, its something he (and if your're willing- you as well) have to work towards, along with harm reduction.

Thank you
I agree he needs to want the help and my mum says he just getting all he can out off people lieing to them that he wants it for the car etc and hes got a job coming his way but needs money first
We all know this is lies

We say it to him but he dont listen
He can be very convincing to others
I dont get what crack does i dont know how hes feeling hes just sounds very desperate even saying people will kill him if he dont pay money that he owes