Depressed and heartbroken

[Pleasehelpmymarriage]

I have so much stress in my life right now and have been diagnosed with depression.

Around Christmas time, suspected DH of ten years of cheating. He denied and explained away evidence.

I have been working hard to move on as love him so much.

My depression keeps making me question and overanalyze his every move. Nether of us can live like this. I love him so much j want to make it work.

Please help

What was the evidence and what was his explanations.

There was lots of messaging to a work colleague. I couldn't see messages but know he was speaking to her a lot late at niggt

I'm so needy and anxious but have so much other crap going on that I feel like if he left would be last straw.

I would wonder if your depression is because of his behaviour? Do you think you know the truth and suppressing it is causing you to feel this way.

Maybe. But I have so many other problems that is not the only reason.

I cant cope if he leaves me.

Find a counsellor you can talk all this through with, including your fears about your marriage and your own depression. You sound like you need support all round.

What did your DH say he was discussing with this colleague so late at night?
It sounds to me like you’re extremely stressed and anxious. Address your problems first by going to a GP. Access online counseling if you can as an immediate starting point. If you have other health issues, then again address these with your GP and get the help you need. Some days it’s just about putting one foot in front of the other and seeing the day through. Achieving small goals will help boost your confidence. Set yourself some eg. Going to the gym once/twice a week.
Practice lots of self care. Get your hair/ nails done. Have a massage or facial. Be kind to yourself. Why do you think your DH is going to leave you?

Sounds like hes gaslighting you and the difference between what your gut tells you and what he is attempting to gaslight you to believe is causing significant cognitive dissonance. That may be contributing to you feeling mentally unwell. Get some distance from him. Listen to your gut. What does your gut tell you?

If you're an anxious/fragile person he might need a friend to talk to, not necessarily about you but about things he can't really talk to you about because it will affect you too much. You say you're needy what do you mean by this? What was his explanation for the messages and have you ever had good reason (evidence) to think he was cheating before?

Im so sorry you’re feeling like this! It’s truly the worst.

It’s time to put yourself first and do what’s best for you! Please please please think about therapy.

Never feel scared to talk to him and tell him why you’re feeling the way you are, he should be comforting you.

Sure, he can talk to whoever he likes, you can’t control someone into distancing themselves from people to satisfy you but if something feels wrong to you, trust yourself and communicate ❤️