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Original poster

What is he playing at?

31 replies

Fuckmyliferightnow · 15/04/2019 08:07

I have NC for this.

I have been observing some very odd behaviour in my partner.
Been together 10 years with 1 Dd.
We own a house together, he earns all the money and I have 2 very low paid jobs. A bit of background.

He's being cagey with his phone, not showing much interest in sex, goes out to his mates about 4/5 nights a week til late, sometimes after I've gone to bed (I go 2 hours earlier than him), his reasons are he can smoke at his mates house.
If he smokes out the back I have spied on him and it looks like he's msging someone and looks around over his shoulder.
He has spent ages on his phone in the bathroom.
I don't know his password so can't look.

He gave his old phone to our daughter to play games on, he left his contacts on there. There are 2 numbers on there that make me feel a bit Hmm
One named Aaaaaaaaa and the other named Football. No names attached.
All his football contacts are listed separately so pretty sure it's not a football friend.
He doesn't play football.

What can I do with these numbers? How can I find out if they are female and how can I get names?

This is all the potential evidence I have to go by. Any ideas?

OP posts:
orangepears · 15/04/2019 08:16

You could save the numbers in your phone and then check WhatsApp to see the display picture.

pinkyredrose · 15/04/2019 08:17

Put them into Google and any social media.

mummmy2017 · 15/04/2019 08:19

Find a pay phone and call.
Or use a cheap mobile . Buy one at bootsales and 99p sim

Sunshineandflipflops · 15/04/2019 08:19

What the above poster said.

His behaviour seems very suspicious though, without knowing who the numbers belong to. Going out 4/5 nights a week would be a definite no!

Original poster
Fuckmyliferightnow · 15/04/2019 08:22

Thanks.

He's always gone out to his mates because I don't let him smoke in the house.

It's all the other stuff that's happening that's raised my suspicion.

I will try the whatsapp idea now.

OP posts:
Original poster
Fuckmyliferightnow · 15/04/2019 08:29

Neither of the number are on WhatsApp.

OP posts:
LuluBellaBlue · 15/04/2019 08:39

I’d ha e it out with him and threaten to end the relationship unless he bucks his ideas up!
Is this really how you want to continue living? You deserve so much better Flowers

orangepears · 15/04/2019 08:40

Put your phone on private number then mute (if you can) and call them.

orangepears · 15/04/2019 08:49

Also don't make any rash decisions (like leaving him) some people are very over the top. If you do ask him and he is doing something wrong he will up his "you not finding our game" get your "evidence" first. If he is doing something then take time to make a decision. If he isn't doing anything don't go crazy over this. let it go. I hope it's nothing xx

Original poster
Fuckmyliferightnow · 15/04/2019 09:06

I rang the 2 numbers and he answered both times. One is his mobile number and the other is another mobile number.
He is at work.

OP posts:
orangepears · 15/04/2019 09:14

So one is his mobile number, does he have 2 phones or you don't know the number off by heart so didn't know it was his and how come you don't have his work number? Has he cheated
Before?

Original poster
Fuckmyliferightnow · 15/04/2019 09:19

As far as I know he only has one mobile, but he is at work, it could be a work number. But his work is a landline.

OP posts:
Original poster
Fuckmyliferightnow · 15/04/2019 09:20

Also just came across his Facebook. Nothing on there so he must have additional numbers on his new phone that weren't on his old phone.

OP posts:
orangepears · 15/04/2019 09:34

You can't get into his phone as you don't know
His password.
Option 1: try and sneak a look when he opens it.
2: leave it.
You could ask him out right but face to face to see his body language and reaction. Or leave it for a bit and see if his behaviour is still different and keep an eye then go from there. It's hard for you I know your brains is probably doing over time 😩 someone else might have better advice for you.
(hugs)

FelicisWolf · 15/04/2019 10:00

Just came across his Facebook?! Are you not Facebook friends? The first thing I think with multiple phones you're not aware of is drugs... could going round his mates house actually be him being involved with drugs? Either taking or dealing? Are these two numbers you don't know about or just one (you just didn't recognise his mobile number)?

Original poster
Fuckmyliferightnow · 15/04/2019 15:11

One is his regular number the other not.

I didn't recognise it as it was saved under Aaaaaaa. I don't remember numbers well.

We are not Facebook friends, in fact our social lives are totally separate and he never lets me in on things.
But he is msging someone when he goes for a smoke, I need to get a closer look.

OP posts:
KOKOtiltomorrow · 15/04/2019 15:15

Life is too short for this angst. You clearly don't trust him. It doesn't really matter what he is doing. Time to move on.

Original poster
Fuckmyliferightnow · 15/04/2019 15:16

I have suspected he was in touch with someone more than once, I have confronted him before and he just puts on a big act about I can check his phone when ever.
I walked in on him more than once, quickly dropping his phone and going bright red/looking panicked.
One time he said he was looking at porn Confused

OP posts:
Orlandointhewilderness · 15/04/2019 15:20

I suspect he has saved his own number as he doesn't know it. I do the same.

Original poster
Fuckmyliferightnow · 15/04/2019 15:22

Yeah I can see why he'd do that. Bit Hmm about the other mobile.

OP posts:
Original poster
Fuckmyliferightnow · 15/04/2019 15:23

If it's a work mobile why is not saved under work mobile? Confused

It doesn't sit right, I feel I'm being lied to.

OP posts:
Original poster
Fuckmyliferightnow · 15/04/2019 20:27

Tonight he went out before 8. Earlier than usual. Said he's going to mate's and to post letters.
The letters are sat on the table Sad
He was keen to get out!
He said I'm being miserable and making him feel bad in my company.
Kinda hard to be jolly right now and I am so tired I can't string together a proper sentence Sad

OP posts:
pisces12 · 16/04/2019 00:34

Can you go to his friends to see if his car is there?

Onemansoapopera · 16/04/2019 00:38

Could he be gambling ie on the football

MitziTheTabbyIsMyOverlord · 16/04/2019 00:52

@KOKOtiltomorrow it doesn't matter WHAT he is doing, really. It might be x, or y, or z. It might be nothing.

What you are doing is awful. It's very disrespectful to him. You're debasing yourself. You CLEARLY have no trust in him.

This is - in NO sense - a happy for fulfulling relationship.

He might be an utter, lying, cheating arse. You might be delusional paranoid snoop. But I can't foresee an ending to this where you're laughing together, holding hands and skipping off under the sunset as theme music swells. Can you?

This relationship isn't right.

That's all the information you need.

REALLY not trying to be mean, but this snooping you're doing isn't helping your situation, is it.

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