How to know he wants to marry you from the heart?

[bellareena]

Just a bit out of sorts: dp proposed but only after me finding out he'd been txting female colleague...
He had mentioned it before but never ever went through with it
For example in the past, he'd say "don't you want to marry me" or "I think your surname should be [his surname] just little comments like that but if I showed any interest or eagerness, he'd never do a thing n make excuses for "not now"

This is after two children, one child being 11 years old! And her mentioning marriage a lot because she found it odd how I was "the odd one out" with my surname.

So now after he's been caught, he's completely changed. None stop going on about marriage: telling his parents and family.
And actually bought a ring!

I'm just in two minds though, I just think he's only doing this to appease me. I don't think he takes marriage seriously anyway so it makes me think he'll carry on txting it going after women regardless.

Am I being silly or should I try accept it

Have you posted about him before because the money grabbing comment resonates and if so, he is not going to marry you and he is definitely not going to put "his" house at risk if he does. It will end up back in his parents name or something.

If I recall he doesn't a lot of merit as a partner, his misogyny is ingrained and your life with him is empty. No dates, left continuously without support and a lack of respect.

So no its not from the heart and it won't happen. But it will keep you quiet for a while. During which time he will be off doing his own thing with his girlfriend from work.

OH FOR GODS SAKE.
What is your plan? Marry and go to Saudi? How is that going to work given you had kids out of wedlock? You just don’t listen to any advice on her ever you had had thousands of messages to you telling you you need to leave but here you are again asking whether to accept his marriage proposal. He doesn’t give a shit about you. He made you homeless. He has offered to be the father/sperm donor to the OW he works with. He has cheated on you via sexting and who knows what else throughout your entire relationship. If you agree to marriage what is your plan? Go to Saudi and accept he will cheat on you throughout your marriage?

You are deceiving respondents posting a new thread and not giving the full back story. Link to your other threads here:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3547285-should-i-forgive-believe-him-and-be-happy-with-text

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3527626-just-seen-txts-of-the-woman-i-had-suspicion-off-please-help

I think you are being properly played by him. Don’t put the cart before the horse. He isn’t getting married to you, he’s talking about getting engaged. Could be the longest engagement ever... And nope, if a guy acts like a dick before getting engaged he doesn’t magically transform into a great guy afterwards. God OP based on what I recall from previous post he sounded so vile. Surely you can do better. Sorry you are in this position.

Oh dear, really OP? Of course it's you again.

You keep getting the same sort of answers however you fudge it, tho.

You really are going to marry him and go to Saudi and continue to live this crappy half-life.

When he wants to marry you from the heart:

• He won’t cheat on you
• He won’t be emotionally abusive
• He won’t propose in response to being caught cheating
• He won’t leave an 11 year old to look after the younger child when he is supposed to be in charge
• He won’t stop his wife from joining a basketball club

But who cares? You are going to marry him even if he’s sleeping with a different woman every day