Am I being stupid to be upset by this?

[MummytoCSJH]

My partners best friend is horrible. Really, horrible, I don't like him at all, hes called me fat in the past (my partner set him straight on that), hes racist and constantly drunk, but he's always been one of those 'lads' where everything he says is 'banter' so apparently its fine .Anyway - I just try not to talk about him, they talk regularly but never see each other anyway and I would never expect him to ditch his oldest friend for me. HOWEVER my partner has just told me in passing that this man has just broken up with his girlfriend, essentially she's left him for the same reasons I mentioned above, and that he sent a naked picture of her that she sent to him to my partner and she found out. I feel really upset he didn't tell me this when it happened, he thinks I'm being silly as I've seen the conversation and in no way did my partner want the photo, his friend just sent it to him. I can't help feeling really upset though, can't really explain why, my previous relationship ended because I found out I was the OW so I'm very cautious about cheating. My partner knows this. I can't stop crying. It just feels wrong.

Meant to say it is unfair to judge OP's partner because of the friend,that was unclear.
We've all had childhood friends who turned to AH, and it may take us longer to realise how bad they are because of all the memories.

My mistake in not knowing revenge porn didn't mean 'sent in revenge'... you guys know I'm not the one who sent it, right?

I'm fully aware its a disgusting thing that he did, I hate this person and to say I've never met him, that should give you a strong idea of how much I'm against what he has said and done. As I said - I don't know where he lives, other birthday, anything that's identifying enough. Just his name. Don't think thats enough to report him unfortunately and I can't see my partner wanting to turn someone hes known for over 15 years into the police.

Thanks for the advice Scarlett. He's definitely an alcoholic. He needs some help but highly doubt he'll listen to my partner if he tells him that!

well If he's drunk all the time he might not be around for much longer.

He's also got a major inherited heart condition which means hes slowly dying. This is the only real thing I know about him that I know is actually true. Not an excuse to be a complete tosser but I feel like he probably thinks it is!

Id say you know enough about him to Report Him tbh

His name, a vague (as in, county not village or town) area of where he lives, one facebook picture and the fact he has a genetic heart condition. The police won't touch that will they?

I am wondering who else he sent the photo to..........

One of the nicest men I know is very close friends with a slimy perverse git as well.

I can’t understand it but they have known each other from a very young as so I guess it stems from loyalty and familiarity.

From what dp has said about him, he doesn't have any other friends or speak to anyone else so hopefully nobody! Don't want to go into it on here as I'm really really sad but dp and I are having a few days apart for different reasons so haven't spoken to him about his 'friend' yet. Not sure I'll get round to it depending on what happens next

He could have posted it
online. Doesnt just need to be people he knows.

You should 100% be reporting this man to the police! I'm actually gobsmacked that you haven't already. You know his name and you know his phone number (your partner has it!). The police will absolutely want to know. Him being your partners oldest friend/upsetting you partner is completely irrelevant. He has committed a form of sexual abuse and domestic violence towards this woman. Would you report it if he had raped her or beat her up?
How would you feel if it you you in the picture and your partner that had sent it?

He's vile. Report him to the police. I'd 100% expect another woman to do that for me if this happened to me without my knowledge. I know you're upset, and I would be too, but there's a bigger picture here as well. If he's done it to this woman, who else has he forwarded pictures of?

Sorry you are having a rough time OP. Hope things get resolved. Now is not the time to lecture her on what she should do, folks. The OP committed no crime ffs.