Anyone up for a chat please

[BlessingsAreComing]

Hi.... I can't talk to any one in my real life. It's all falling apart and doesn't seem to get better. Anyone up for a chat please?

I would second the advice to have a talk with Samaritans if you want to speak to an actual person and can’t do this with anyone you know.
www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/contact-samaritan/

Also citizens advice (tel:03444111444) if you are wanting some advice on getting to a point of being financially independent from your husband and making some big life changes

Both of those you could go into their local branches for a face to face talk too x

I have spoken to Samaritans but I sound so collected that they gave me an impression that I was a time waster.

Being a SAHM can be really tough and isolating. Try not to be too hard on yourself, it can be really hard to meet new people and make friends. There's lots of us here who have been where you are now. We're listening x

Cats are crazy..... that's me you are describing. I don't know how to change it

Cheeky..... I am really thankful for the time you guys are giving me. But I am so overwhelmed that I find it difficult to express my emotions in writing.

Blessings just read your comment about the Samaritans. I'm pretty sure they didn't think you were a time waster, this is your low self-esteem telling you this. Have you spoke to your GP about how you're feeling? In my area they can refer for CBT, you might find this helps. If you could boost your self-esteem, then all the other stuff - making friends, finding work, would become much easier. If you're not ready to speak to a GP, then I would really recommend reading up on low self-esteem, it'll help make sense of how you're feeling.

What job did you used to do op?

Violet.... I have done the GP, medication and CBT . I genuinely think I am missing something. I asked a very close friend once what it might be- she said I am too nice.
Is that a thing?

Jon 65- I was trained to be a solicitor.

Blessings that sounds like a strange thing for a close friend to say. It's difficult to understand what she meant without more background.

You say you trained to be a solicitor, you're obviously bright then, so that's great!

You sound to me like someone who has thrown everything into being a Mum and lost herself along the way.

Do you have any hobbies or things you do that are just for you?

Violet.... that's exactly what happened. I gave my self up to be a mother, wife and everything & lost my self in the process. I just don't know how to get out of it.
It's my relationship with my husband that makes it more difficult. I want to quit this marriage but I don't have the financial independence.
I am heartbroken that after working hard I lost it all because of reasons behind me

Beyond*

That must be really hard. You have your DD though, so you didn't give it up for nothing. And there's still time to re- build your career. I hope you don't mind me asking, but what is it about your relationship that makes you want to leave?

Crikey a solicitor! What in earth is wrong with the firms you've applied for a volunteer role?

Take each day as it comes, possibly upskill yourself for an hour atleast. Keep applying for jobs, you never know what's awaiting in the wings. Don't ever give up please! X

Violet.... it's an amalgamation of multiple things over the years . I have realised that we are very different people. Starting from our upbringing and our basic nature. He is very pushy, emotionally absent, weed user & multiple other things. We are incompatible
I just want to quit because I lost my self somewhere along the way

MumsyJ-
I am 8 years behind in my career. It's not the firms it's me. Not a good candidate to get through the door

I actually don’t think CBT would help that much in your circumstances. It can help you deal with excessive or irrational thoughts but to be honest, I think it’s quite rational to feel anxious in a stressful marriage. I would suggest you get some person-centred counselling to try to build your confidence and work out who you are on your own.

I agree some volunteering might help you both with your confidence and getting your face known to help you back into the workplace.

Weed user...that explains a lot. My ex was a weed user and exactly like you describe.

There's always a way to separate if you've made up your mind you don't want to be with him. It may not be easy or pleasant, but the outcome will be infinitely better than being in the situation you're in now, even if it means money is tight. Does he know how you feel?

Faith.... I tried but I can't get in. I volunteered in a well know charity for 2 years but it didn't help get me through either.

Violet.... it's my child I am
Worried about. I absolutely have no money. I am pulling through because of antidepressants & strength I manage to muster. I have days where I just want the earth to swallow me.
He knows but he blames me for it.

Any chance that doing some voluntary work would help? I can't say too much as its outing but some organisations like Shelter, CAB etc would welcome someone with your skills, and analytical skills aren't something you lose. Or doing another postgrad course to update your area of expertise makes you more marketable?

I'm so sorry you're going through this. What support do you have irl? Do you have parents/ siblings who you can talk to and would they be able to help you financially?

You need some sort of plan. Do you own your house or are you renting?

Jon65- I volunteered with CAB for 2 years. Trust me it's a not a place that law firms consider an entry point.

Jon65- I have already got a postgrad degree. I am 8 years late to the game

Violet... I have no one, no support. I am on my own. Husband owns the house.