Adult child of a functioning alcoholic

[Adm91]

So, I’m not a mum but I just wanted some advice/ some guidance. I’m a student. I live at home and earn about £250 a month.
My mum is a functioning alcoholic in denial.
I don’t have a good relationship with her and living at home is making me depressed. There’s arguments between my mum and dad. My mum drinks. The at atmosphere is horrible. I dread coming from from work / uni.
Clearly o haven’t got enough money to move out. I have a boyfriend who is very supportive. He’s lives at home with his mum, there’s no room for me to stay there. However, talking to him today how I’m struggling and feeling down he’s text back saying I’m starting to make him feel down and that I’m expecting him to fix everything. I wish there was a magic button to make everything okay. After the text from my boyfriend today I feel like I’m a burden on him, I have no one else to to talk to.
Does any one have advice?
I have already sighed up to the gym have a good social life to get out the house as much as I can and make me feel good. But I still dread coming home to feeling Aline as my mum is passed out by 7 pm each evening.

Sorry to hear this. I'm not an expert on alcoholism but hopefully wiser people will be along soon. Have you tried Al Anon for families of alcoholics? Best wishes.

She doesn't sound like she is functioning very well if she is passed out by 7pm every night. Does she work? What does your dad say about this?

Go see a counsellor at your Uni. Get support off them.

Don't drag your boyfriend down, he's probably only young & it's an insoluble issue for you, never mind him.

See about student loans & moving out, too.

Do you work ?

Is there anyway you and your boyfriend could rent together? Would your dad lend you some money?

Hi OP, I'm a recovering alcoholic. It doesn't sound as if your mother is functioning very well if she is passing out in the early evenings. Not from your post does it seem as if she has any desire to stop drinking so she's probably not ready for AA yet (has she ever been?).

You must look after yourself. I would recommend Al-Anon, also a counsellor at university as a PP suggested. There is also a helpline number you can call - I'll try to post a link below:

www.nacoa.org.uk/adults/help-and-advice.html

HI Op have you heard of NACOA? They are based in Bristol but have a helpline and website with a lot of advice. Also check out Facebook COAisathing. There are personal testimonies of adult children of alcoholics and also a secret Facebook group.

Hi, my father was a functioning alcoholic, whole family hid it, he was in bed at 6pm every evening. I adored him but it put huge strain on the family and made other situations harder....I left home very young, got my own place and full-time job. This was years ago now. I really understand how low you must be feeling and you have my empathy. However, I would argue for staying where you are as long as possible, making your own life and saving like billy-o...life is hard and once you leave home and fully adult it’s even tougher. Your boyfriend is still young and probably doesn’t know what to do or say for the best, especially if he hasn’t experienced dysfunction, talk to a CBT instead - get referred by GP if need be. Obviously all this is only if you are safe at home and have a living relationship with her apart from the addiction.