Hi everyone. This is my first time posting and I really don’t know what to do. I guess I need some advice, or some affirmation, I don’t know. This will probably be a long and rambling post. I’ve been with my husband for 14 years, married for 8. We have 2 kids. We used to be happy, but after our last child was born something changed. He got very aggressive at the tiniest little thing, grabbing the baby out of my arms when she wouldn’t stop crying (he’d never hurt her, it was more in annoyance with me), when I’d try and talk to him about my feelings he’d be angry, or dismissive, one time he turned the TV up to drown out my crying. He’s struck up several relationships (friendships he says) with other women, he spends hours on his phone, either on Facebook, Instagram or WhatsApp. He says they’re only friends, but he has met up with one of them several times, and the last time he was really cagey. He didn’t tell me where he was going until 2 hours before, then had a go at me when I asked who he was going with. Then it turned out they were meeting at a hotel (for dinner...) - and this really annoyed me. Am I totally wrong to feel upset by this? He’s secretive about his phone all the time, he makes a point of facing away from me when he’s on it, he tells me I’m paranoid and he’s allowed female friends. Of course he is, I don’t have a problem with that, but he’s so weird with his behaviour around it all, that it does make me suspicious. I wish I could trust him, but I just don’t anymore. If I upset him in some way, he will stonewall me for days, even weeks, until I either cave and apologise or he needs something and forgets about it. He says we don’t have enough sex (5 times a week sometimes) and calls me frigid/cold if I’m too tired, as he thinks his needs aren’t being met, and we aren’t working on things together. He’s threatened to leave me several times in the past, mostly because he thinks we don’t sleep together enough (sorry if tmi), and other women “do more than I do” - which I think is really hurtful. He’s made me feel so worthless. A couple of days ago I realised that after months of him gradually removing me from his Facebook profile, wiping out any trace of him having a wife, he’d actually removed me as his friend. He said it was so I couldn’t stalk him anymore (?!?!) and it resulted again in a massive argument. I told him I was done with this weird behaviour - I said I was sick of his secrets, and being weird, and treating me with no respect, no cares for my feelings etc, and he doesn’t really seem that bothered. He tried to hold my hand in the night, but I can’t bear him touching me when I know how little he seems to care for me. The problem is, I don’t know how I’m going to tell my daughter. She will be devastated as she thinks he can do no wrong (as do his work colleagues and his friends - all of whom are women). I can’t bear to break her heart. And I can’t bear the thought of someone else being involved in bringing up my kids - how crazy does that sound? I just thought I’d be their only mummy forever. My heads all over the place. Should I just try and stick this out for longer? I’ve been feeling like I’m just trying to grab any scrap of genuine affection for about 8 years now, but I just feel that this is a terrible example to set my kids. I try and talk to him, and he turns it round on me and gets angry. He won’t come to counselling. Is anyone stuck in this same situation?