AIBU: DD's BF treating her unfairly

[Busylizzie65]

My daughter suggested to her BF of 18 months that they visit mutual uni friends in NZ. BF said no because he didn't have time or money. A few weeks later, he announces he's going to see those same mutual friends, travelling with some of his other uni friends who my daughter knows well. (It's a mixed group, so not a lads trip.) The thing is, he made it very clear she wasn't invited. It seems that BF's best friend basically said 'It's her or us' (this friend apparently has never liked my daughter). So BF is off to NZ this weekend.
I'm furious with him for a. telling my daughter he couldn't go with her (when he clearly could have done) and b. not insisting that she be included with his friends. It seems to me that if, after 18 months, your friends don't accept your GF, and you don't stand up for your GF, then there's a problem with the relationship. (I should point out that, from what I've seen, my daughter isn't particularly possessive and they both spend time apart with their own friends, so it's not like she tries to get between him and his friends.)
I shan't say anything to my daughter as it's none of my business and she has to figure things out for herself. But boy it's hard to keep quiet, when I see how upset she is. He was here last weekend and I found it really hard to be civil to him (I think I did manage, but I was seething inside).
AIBU to think he's treating her pretty badly?

I’d have a word with her!
Fuck that shit about it being none of your business.
I don’t know (in real life) people who don’t advise or (to some degree) interfere in the lives of their families.
And I’d make it clear to him he was a douche and not welcome in your home until he treated your daughter better.

I shan't say anything to my daughter as it's none of my busines

Um darling she is your daughter.

Surely, part of your role is to guide and offer advice. Of course she doesn't have to take it but totally taking a step back is wrong.

My mum gives me and my siblings advice all the time. We rarely take it but it's nice to know she cares!

I do think he's handled this badly by not being honest with her that he already had a trip planned.

However, his friends don't have to like his GF. I actually think he did the right thing by not insisting your DD joined their group. You don't inflict your GF on your friends if they're not keen on her. That could have been a nightmare for everyone concerned.

However, it does raise some questions about separate lives and if their rel'ship is viable longer term. It seems he prefers his friends to his GF. Maybe he's just not that into her, or maybe he doesn't want a serious relationship at what sounds like a fairly young age. Nothing wrong with wanting to have some fun with your friends....as long as you don't have a GF sitting at home pining for you with different expectations.

Fucking hell...if this happened to my DS or DD, I'd be saying something in a shot. There's allowing your kids to figure things out their own way and there's also allowing your kids to be walked over like a doormat. No way!! Her boyfriend sounds very immature/spineless and so do his friends for dictating that he not allow his girlfriend to travel with them too. He'd be out of my good books for sure!