Hi there sorry for long one.
I'm 30 was with my ex 15 years and have 4 children together.
We've ways had ups and downs in our relationship, having kids made it alot more of a struggle and he has been on various occasions caught on chat rooms etc in the past. But last year we finished he moved out but said wanted to try and build back what we had lost, I agreed as never felt valued as a person.
Turns out when he had left he was in a secret relationship, he hid it so well from me until I found her number and I saved her number in my phone and see her picture with him. That went on for months he connected with her blah blah blah. Still keeping me as a side dish until I found out about them.
Anyway fast faward few months when he found out about me speaking with someone he was so jealous he ended his great relationship to try again with me. I knew that was reason but of course I'm being told everything I've always wanted to hear. I somehow was trying to make everything work with knowledge of all lies only to find out he wasn't over her and was secretly messaging each other.
Again same thing split a week later he misses blah blah. I always hung on to his words and haven't ever been with anyone else, have 4 kids with him so of course would love to have a perfect family.
She is 25 with no kids, he controlled exactly what we both knew but I had alot more knowledge and still do about what went on. Go back and be with her but he left me to be with her based on tons of lies. She not no innocent party as she knew what she was doing aswell. Just he only told her what he needed to. He is a compulsive liar.
Well 2 weeks ago when I'm still being told he wants me and us to all work. He knows he needs to make more of effort blah blah. I then receive screenshots from this "ex" of their conversations and this time its him declaring his love for her, stuff I had never actually visually see.
Since I got that info I told him to leave, I packed his stuff up and we now need to have no contact anything involving the kids will go through his mum.
He has killed me inside as I cannot understand just being honest. I'm so angry that I allowed this to happen to myself. I feel pretty used and worthless. We wasn't in this perfect relationship but as I've always been faithful it's hard to understand how people can treat people they about like this.
The only control I still have is staying no contact. I still respect his is kids dad and wouldn't have it any other way.
At the minute just feel so empty inside.
15 years of my life and this past year has just finished like that.
I don't even know what I'm asking from anyone but hopefully someone can give me something.
Sorry for long post x