Taking money

[slewoman]

So normally lurker but I am furious......opinions greatly received. My 7 year ex and I have an 8 year old amazing daughter. We have an agreement in place that gives us half of each holiday. This year i asked if my half Xmas could be transfered to March So i could take a holiday. The ex pays 250 per month for his daughter as I have main custody. We have a joint bank account still as we have a mortgage together ( I live in this property with my daughter) for the last 7 years this is the account he just pays half the mortgage and his monthly child maintainance into. He has decided that he is owed 150 from looking after his daughter more days on March and has just taken it with no discusion......would y be furious too he is refusing to put back and totally forgetting the conversation of swapping Xmas time for March....grrrrrrrr

Change the account today.

Close the joint account
He's a twat
Do you have a legal agreement about maintenance?

I think before anyone gives you advice, what arrangements do you have in place legally following your split. Plus were you married or not.

He does give u alot buy giving u money and paying half the mortage so id be careful with your next move.does seem that your ex has been good to you.
My ex only gave £250 a month for 2 dc and threw us out with nothing and diddnt pay a penny for 5years.

He does give u alot buy giving u money and paying half the mortage so id be careful with your next move.does seem that your ex has been good to you.
My ex only gave £250 a month for 2 dc and threw us out with nothing and diddnt pay a penny for 5years

Err, what? He does this for his child, not for the OP. To keep his child fed, clothed and with a roof over her head.
Just because your ex is a waste of space, doesn’t mean women should be on their knees with gratitude when theirs pays their way.

@SoyDora

Thank you. Can we please stop the posts that say any OP has to be grateful that an Ex is prepared to contribute anything, no matter how pathetic?

Any man who doesn’t want to pay and contribute properly to the upbringing of his children is a waste of space.

Mine is a waste of space and full of smelly shit.

OP sort him out, how dare he! Bloody cheek!

Seek advice legally and financially before closing down the account. Then again, if you do close the account, how does he pay his share of the mortgage in the future?

Any man who doesn’t want to pay and contribute properly to the upbringing of his children is a waste of space.

This ^ ^ 100%

And I say this as someone who receives a paltry amount from the ex in maintenance.

BUT....There's been a couple of threads like this today, and I know I along with many are thinking the OP doesn't know how fortunate position they're in with regards to CM and childcare/mortgage costs.

I don't buy the line below:

Just because your ex is a waste of space, doesn’t mean women should be on their knees with gratitude when theirs pays their way.

Like I knowingly had a child with someone who was an abusive wanker? I think not. I learnt more about the man in the first few weeks after we split than in all the years we spent together.

Not disputing what your ex did was shit with regards to just helping himself to money.

But you only have to read the amount of threads on here about maintenance to know it's an exception rather than the rule to receive much above the CMS minimum.

So not saying you should be eternally grateful to your ex and on your knees with gratitude, but be mindful that actually you're in a much better position than a lot of single mothers on here.

OP didn't say he's paying more than CMS minimum. If he earns a decent salary then £250/month is a drop in the ocean.

OP this is what I'd do.

Plan A
Open a new bank account in your sole name, if you don't already have one.
Tell him from now on the maintenance needs to be paid into that account. (If he won't agree then there's a Plan B)
Get your salary and all the bills coming into and going out of the new account.
Set up a standing order to send your half of the mortgage to the old joint account monthly.
Go into a branch of the bank your joint account is with and ask to be removed from the account. Depending on the bank they may ask your ex to sign a form about this.

Plan B - if he's an awkward fucker
Open new account in your name only and move everything to that account, including the mortgage.
Every morning, log on to the old joint account and as soon as he's paid maintenance and the mortgage share, move it into your own account.

I ended up going down the Plan B route with my ex after I logged onto internet banking one day and found he'd set up a standing order to his new girlfriend of £500 per month out of our joint account. Nice try motherfucker!

But you only have to read the amount of threads on here about maintenance to know it's an exception rather than the rule to receive much above the CMS minimum

How do you know £250 a month is more than the CMS minimum?

Before you go in gins a blazing check what he would be required to give you according to the child support calculator.

Three was a recent thread where an Ex wife complained and took it to court, only to find he was paying over £100 a month more. In addition he was paying towards school uniform and extra curricular activities.

Do you research and don't let it ba ckfire on you.

Typo

guns a blazing