I spent a chunk of this afternoon having an intense telephone conversation with my mother. She accused me of always “shouting” at her and not showing enough respect -also hinted that l bully her. The most recent incident was on Mother’s Day when l mentioned l felt ill and probably had Labyrinthitis. In a superior nasty way she asked when l had qualified as a doctor. I reminded her that my partner and l are both qualified nurses with over 20 years of experience between us and GP’s shut at the weekend so couldn’t get an appointment.
She didn’t like this and became irritable, telling me “not to start”. I tried to explain l don’t feel well and it’s what the symptoms indicated, at which point she shouted over me, told me to fuck off and hung up the phone. I rang her back a few hours later to smooth it over but didn’t apologise as l didn’t think l was in the wrong. For some side issue information lm off work at the moment with depression and anxiety. We are having fertility issues so Mother’s Day was a bit emotive for me anyway
The last time she stayed with me then l asked her to not put her suitcase on top of our dining room table, as the wheels were rather dirty (she has OCD tendencies and would have gone ballistic if l had done the same at her house!). She also apparently didn’t like the way l asked her not to re-arrange a property l used to live in with my ex-husband -things looked better the way she had done it she thought?! All of this was me being unreasonable and shouting at her. Both times l asked her not to do either thing but l don’t remember raising my voice or bellowing at her
My mother also claims she has been upset for the last week or so and lm a bad daughter basically. During the phone call it was clear she had totally forgotten about my physical and mental health not being great. Not to throw a pity party for me but she isn’t giving me much consideration.
Just to give you a bit of background my Mum has always been quite demanding, unhappy to be challenged / questioned and wanting things her own way but has got a lot worse in recent years. We had a big row when my Dad died a few years ago. During which she informed me l had never loved him, l treated him horribly, l let him down etc. Which was rather spiteful and unreasonable especially as they had split up 20 years before and she rarely had a good word to say about him. From what l heard afterwards she very much acted like the grieving widow
As with a lot of family issues / disagreements then l could write pages and pages. But lm trying to be concise and not drip feed!