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Relationships

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dating situ

20 replies

Chrissi314 · 11/04/2019 15:25

On Tue i went on the date with a guy. We sat on the date for three hrs.
Paid for everything during the date, I also offered to pay he didnt accept.
After three hrs asked if we could leave as it was getting late (11 pm) and i had late wake up. ( i think 3 hrs date is also too long, save something for next time if any).

He insisted to get me a cab home which i found very gentlemanly. The cab would be late to arrive but the bus stop was near the pub so i thanked him for that but it was 5 mins anyway to home. So he asked if i had a good night and i said i enjoyed a lot which was true.

He asked me if i want to go out again with him i said sure of course i would love to meet again and he said that i dont sound too confident about it. I said that i really had a great night and i made sure i wrote that on text too that i would love to meet again and i thanked him for the good time. He and i talked about places we could go next time. On text, he said he wished i went into the cab. I again thanked him but anyway the bus came there and then.

So he repeated on text he had a good night and speak soon with a kissing emoji.

The guy has a kid and is 37. The kid lives with his mum. He told me that he is single 8.months now and the last relationship was with his baby mama, but they are over two years now in reality.

I asked him if he is sure he is really over because at the end of the day he is tied with her for the kid and 8 months isnt really a long time anyway. He said he is really over and they talk strictly for the kid and if he wouldn't have to talk he wouldn't. I found that a bit exaggerated tbh. I told him the only reason i am asking is because this is online and a lot of people may lie about stuff. He said he wouldn't lie as he had this experience before being lied too from online so he wouldn't do it.

Just to note here he first started asking personal questions about my situation, dating history and stuff. I told him i had married at 25 for 2 years and then divorced. Im now 32. No kids.

He also told me his baby mama is not a good mum and selfish. I take this all with a pinch of salt tbh.

Another thing that striked me, is that this guy with another guy that had contacted me on the dating site, had extreme similarities. They told me the same things about their life, same area same situation they both told me they gonna move house, both kids the same age, also same chatlines. If this isnt a diabolical coincidence, i would think that these two are related somehow.

The other guy that I am talking about, asked to talk on the phone and he asked me out on the phone call where we said we can meet before i leave on holiday. After the call he never asked me out.

Now it is Thursday and he the guy i dated on Tue, didnt follow up for another date...

OP posts:
Dieu · 11/04/2019 17:40

I didn't really understand all of your post, and I'm not sure the whole beginning bit was necessary or relevant.
However am I right in thinking that you were chatting with a guy on a dating site, but an actual date never materialised ... then you had a date with a guy who seemed to have the same life story as the one you'd chatted to before? And now you think it may be the same man?
It certainly would be weirdly coincidental, and you are definitely right to be on your guard. Are the phone numbers different?
I'm not sure I like the sound of the one you dated anyway, as criticising the mother of his child would be a red flag for me. I think you know that though, and good for you!

Pianobook · 11/04/2019 17:47

You’ve already got a thread on this?

Chrissi314 · 11/04/2019 18:11

Yes but they advised to post on the relationship section.
Yes this is it . I suspect these two men are related .

He didnt only trash talk the kid's mum but also English women (i aint English) and said he likes the southern culture and the fire etc and he cant with English women anymore.

OP posts:
Pianobook · 11/04/2019 18:13

If you’re not going to see him again I wouldn’t bother analysing it too much.

Chrissi314 · 11/04/2019 18:14

Ye well doesnt look like he is asking me for another round

OP posts:
bsc · 11/04/2019 18:15

The fire???

Tomtontom · 11/04/2019 18:15

Chill out. You're overthinking everything and it's going to be very off putting.

Chrissi314 · 11/04/2019 18:16

The fiery temperament of the South lol

OP posts:
SleepingSloth · 11/04/2019 18:20

I'm not really sure what you're asking but I'd be a bit suspicious about any man bad mouthing the mother of his children on a first date.

Chrissi314 · 11/04/2019 18:25

I guess the core question is whats up with this situation with two men same life story.

And why if they related they set up something like that.

Never happened to me before

OP posts:
Dieu · 11/04/2019 18:36

I would just walk away.

Or if you want clarification once and for all, have it out with him. 'You know, you sound very much like someone I was chatting with before. Lots of similarities such as .... Very coincidental, what do you think?'

Mostly though, I just wouldn't bother, as he sounds like a misogynistic waste of space.

Chrissi314 · 12/04/2019 08:09

So he did text me yesterday. He was flirty. If he asks me out again, should i mention this situation??

OP posts:
Chrissi314 · 12/04/2019 09:39

He uploaded a picture on Whats app, where shows his son with a little girl. The girl looks very ,much like the daughter of the guy i spoke on the phone.

OP posts:
AFistfulofDolores1 · 12/04/2019 10:50

You sound tremendously disempowered, OP.

What do YOU want? Not what you think he wants - but what you want.

Because you don't sound all that enthusiastic, really.

Chrissi314 · 12/04/2019 11:04

I want a relationship possibly.

OP posts:
AFistfulofDolores1 · 12/04/2019 11:05

Your ambivalence is striking.

Aside from a relationship, what do you want for yourself?

Chrissi314 · 12/04/2019 11:11

Well to be honest i think anyone would have suspicions with a situation like this

OP posts:
TheRoadBeneathMyFeet · 12/04/2019 11:25

As I said on your other thread, just ask him outright! How else are you ever going to get an answer.

AFistfulofDolores1 · 12/04/2019 12:03

Then it's a no-brainer, isn't it?

Senseiwu · 12/04/2019 18:40

Bit weird about the whatsapp pic, maybe the 2 guys are brothers. But regardless, I'd steer clear!

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