What's your definition of a sociopath?

[WearsABlackAndLongCoatWrong]

Just that.

Thank you for your thoughts (in advance!)

There's an official definition/checklist. You don't need to look for people's personal definitions. It seems that experts also use the terms psychopath and sociopath interchangeably. From memory, the checklist includes a grandiose sense of self-worth, a lack of empathy (ability to imagine others' feelings), multiple short relationships, etc. If you tick a certain number of the boxes then you fit the profile.

Other points - prone to boredom, lies easily, lack of remorse/guilt, can be very charming.

The book 'The Psychopath Test' by Jon Ronson is really good.

I like Jon Ronson a lot. Thank you memaymamo (complicated username to type!).

I found something on google which had 16 character traits, and I read it doing a mental 'tick' 'tick' 'tick'.

But I thought an actual definition would be handy. Google wasn't so good at that!

I've recently spent some time with someone I think is one, and I'm not sure how scared I should be?

If you think they are one, don’t spend anymore time with them! It doesn’t matter what definition they fit, if they are off and you are looking to see what fucked up definition they fit, run as far and fast as you can.

When and if they act out, contact the police when required. Document any and all behaviour.

I listened to the Jon Ronson book on audible, read by him, it was great! Something he highlights is that psychopaths can lead perfectly normal lives and even have lifelong happy marriages, but it depends on all the other factors at play such as interests, personality, upbringing, as to whether they'll be dangerous and/or violent or adulterous.

I very firmly believe Trump meets all the criteria! It explains a lot.

Definitely lack of empathy.
I read somewhere that they are really very angry underneath, but may not show it.
Bags of charm....

My personal thought ( I am not a healthcare professional!) is that they will do what ever they can to get whatever it is they need. The smarter they are, the better they are at manipulating.
It's the lack of empathy and understanding of how their behaviour affects others.

Also if life is going well for them their symptoms are less noticeable. Its when you fall out with one or they somehow feel threatened then you really notice the difference between their behaviour and attitude and others.

Im pretty sure my now ex husband has a personality disorder of some type. He always had a vain of nastiness about him and there is a long line of nasty men in his family. But since divorcing his behaviour has been unbelievable and i mean unbelievable.

The other things i now realise looking back is that i never felt safe with him. I realise this is because he was always emotionally detached from the situation (what ever the situation was). Im sure this is a big red flag

I think I work with one. Over inflated sense of self-worth, no empathy, short attention span, quick temper, compulsive and compelling liar, really enjoys undermining others - he won't rest until he's ruined their reputation, I've watched him do it to 2 people in the 2 years I've known him. He's uncomfortable to be around and wherever he goes, he leaves a trail of slightly alarmed looking people wondering what just happened to them.

Of course, he might simply be an arsehole.

MysteryMom believe me, I've run! I'm just anxious now about whether I'll be allowed to go or chased and how scared I should be by that. And I'm also wondering if there's a way to tailor my rejection of him that will provoke him less. That's why I was looking for the definition.

Again, lots of things posters are writing, I'm thinking 'tick' 'tick' 'tick'. Scary!

The other things i now realise looking back is that i never felt safe with him. I realise this is because he was always emotionally detached from the situation (what ever the situation was). Im sure this is a big red flag

That is interesting JustMe... like physically or emotionally?

I think the overinflated sense of importance can be very subtle. Like they understand that if someone else lies, then it's bad- they just don't connect that when they do it, it's wrong.

The one I knew lied, repeatedly. But would refer to it as " what happened before".

Do you mean sociopath? Most of the posts here are in relation to psychopaths, and the two really aren't interchangeable

There's a very interesting video on YouTube (sorry can't remember the name!) which explains the difference between sociopaths and psychopaths.

Sociopaths are made - by their experiences and by their society. Consequently, more violence and overt behaviour, but they possess whiskers of innate, inborn empathy.

Psychopaths are born - this is a condition of brain wiring, they have no empathy or ability to feel empathy. Nothing. They may or may not be violent and/or otherwise criminal based on their experiences and family background. Their ability to coldly identify a necessary criminal/harmful activity, which they can get away with - and which they feel no compunction about going through with - make them very dangerous to associate with. Potential to be very successful due to ability to step on the unimportant (to them). They effectively spend their lives moving people around their life like pieces on a chess board.

Found it. It was Dr Ramani Durvasula, being interviewed on medhelp, on YouTube.

Fascinating.

Tartanwarrior

He was never able to judge a situation properly (or i never felt he could) i kind of felt like he was another child. He also had little seance or danger.

Eg like driving in the bad weather or a situation when one of the children were sick. It was like he was a liability in himself (i know this sounds very odd) He would constantly justify and manipulate a situation. Eg one of our children running in the road (its ok its a quiet road!). Situations would unfold and he would either be totally detached or obsessive about it, (normally after the event)

Its like his emotional compass is off somehow. So yes i guess physically and mentally.

Psychopathy is a spectrum, but people colloquially use that name for the most extreme cases of mass killers, etc....
But on the lower end of the spectrum these qualities are represented in people otherwise considered normal.
For example - a surgeon cutting into someone’s brain disassociates and doesn’t feel sorry for the patient.
Or a SWAT team member - storming a house and shooting - can’t think of the people he is harming...
These are the same characteristics of psychopathy - an ability to block out empathy and feelings and focus on the goal.
Lawyers, politicians, businesspeople - and a few other professions exhibit that sort of behaviour as well.
There is an evolutionary explanation for that.

As to the specific people that you had relationships with - diagnosing then is pointless. They may be, or may just be selfish.
Regardless - you can’t change them, no matter what the label they deserve.

This is the official definition from DSM V. These are the criteria used by psychologists.

www.betterhelp.com/advice/sociopathy/dsm-5-sociopath-diagnostic-definitions-and-symptoms/

The link didn't work for me, sadly, Lelly. Will try again tomorrow.

MMmomDD it's sociopaths I'm specifically interested in, and can't find a definition for.

To be clear, my interest is because I'm wanting to get away from one I've been involved with (on a peripheral basis), and having had the word "sociopath" suggested to me by another person* and having tried to look up an actual definition for the word, I'm now very scared by how this person might seek vengeance if they realize I want to get away from them, and I'm seeking the best/safest way to do this.

• as in, I've heard the word "sociopath" before, and have an ok-ish idea of what that means. But like someone laughingly referring to themselves as "oh... I'm a bit OCD" because they're cleaning/clearing something up in their home; I'm thinking "OK... What does OCD [or in my case, sociopath] ACTUALLY mean?" And I googled it, and i just got a list of traits to look out for.

I'm looking for an actual definition.

Because I'm VERY scared about potentially pissing one off and wanting to limit the pissing off but NOT wanting to limit my running away; so I want to run away in an intelligent enough way to not 'poke the bear'/irk the sociopath.
And THAT is the help I'm wanting from this thread (not wanting to break into ... , but that's kind-of where I am)

and, btw, nothing about my interaction with the person would or could be a police matter. They simply wouldn't be interested. There would be no crime involved.

But this person could turn my life/my home/my work/my marriage/all my DC's lives/my wider family/my friends upside down with the information they have.
IF they choose to use this information in a malicious way to hurt me.

I don't have the power or the ability to take this information back. It isn't, but think choosing to send someone dick pics and then regretting it. This ISN'T it for me, but that's a good enough analogy without being outing!

So what I want from this thread is how to limit/control the situation so that the (possible) sociopath does't choose to lob this particular hand-grenade into my life in ways I can't control!