I have been in my relationship for 4 years and we have a beautiful nearly 2 year old together.
When we first got together we both spoke about what we wanted from the “future”. We both agreed we wanted marriage, kids (two) and to be together. As time has progressed his idea of the “future” has changed where as mine hasn’t. I still want the marriage and 2 kids. Although we have a beautiful and healthy daughter whom I cherish he’s decided he doesn’t want anymore children, although that’s not we originally agreed. We agreed that the kids would grow up together and have each other if anything happens to us in the future or inevitably when we’re older. My daughter had reflux and the doctor misdiagnosed her until she was 11 weeks. I was and still am her sole care giver. My partner doesnt and has never taken care of her. I have done every night feed and he’s changed a handful of nappies and flat out refuses to put her to bed as he says “she won’t sleep for him” I do everything but even after the rocky start and constant lack of help or sleep I’m still determined to give my daughter a sibling. I do have a sister myself but there is a 10 year age gap so I was pretty much an only child growing up and I used to envy my friends with siblings as I was lonely and my grandad is an only child and hated it. My partner had 2 brothers but left to join the forces at 16 so he’s disengaged from his family meanwhile his siblings have forged a very close bond which I have tried to mention to him to get him to stick to our original agreement to which he’s not listening. I’m at my wits end. I have always stuck to what I have wanted but he’s going back on everything. I won’t go into the entirety of our relationship as reading this is probably enough 😂 but he hasn’t been the most supportive person even though I don’t work to look after our child. His comments about the fact I stay home whilst he goes to work and treats me like a maid when he’s not working aswell is hurtful but I still want my daughter to have a sibling so she’s not alone. I find having just the one child imaginable as becoming a mother has been the making of me and would love to have more than 2 but just to give her one sibling would make me feel a little better about her future and having a sibling to play with and to enjoy childhood with.
I should let you know I don’t have friends they have all moved on and trying to regain a connection has proven difficult and I don’t go out as I’m a “single mother” is hard. Many other threads have said there’s no compromise with your partner if you want kids and they don’t. One of you has to do what the other wants and I feel I would resent him if I wasn’t to have another baby and menopause in my family is 40 and I’m 32 this year so if we can’t agree and I have to make a decision (which we have spoken about and he’s told me my morals are wrong and I’m tapped in the head for saying that even though he’s the one changing his mind) I don’t know what to do about all this. I’m feeling very low at the moment as I wanted to keep my family together for the sake of my daughter but I also know the pain of being an only child. Any help or words of advice would be extremely greatly received. Thank you in advance. I hope I have answered any potential questions aswell