Met his ex - and she’s so much like me!

[BlessedFox]

For context she was his last girlfriend, they dated for just under a year and split amicably about six months before he met me. He ended it with her because, he says, he realised there “was no real future”. She was upset because she did see potential and a future but agreed to split.

I’d never met or even seen photos of her before and he didn’t really mention her much other than when we were talking about past history early on in our relationship.

Anyway, at the weekend we were at a festival and DP got a tap on his shoulder, turned round and exclaimed “(ex girlfriend’s name)!” We stood around chatting for a bit and I couldn’t help but notice how alike she and I are. Similar looks, personality, humour etc.

I know that some people have a type but it was sort of unnerving just how alike we were. We could be sisters and it has made me question what DP and I have for the first time. I mean, does he like and love me for me or because I either remind him of his ex or because I’m his “type”?

Please hand me a grip if I’m overthinking this but AIBU to be a bit freaked out by this?

Most people would probabl figure it out before a year

That's nonsense. Many people have long term relationships that end, even marriages. Most people don't work it out before a year.

Do you suffer from jealousy or low self esteem. Or maybe both?

Yes, and yes. And to complete the trilogy, a deep fear of being in love. My first love shat on me from a great height and I don’t think I ever really recovered from that. This is the first time in more than a decade that I have felt proper love and I am terrified!

Ok, that was starting to come through in your posts, as you're trying to workout if he still fancies her and just how much he fancied her before.

Look, it's over, he doesn't wish to get back with her. He ended it. Leave it there op.

A bloke I started dating years ago commented once that I looked like his ex wife when they first met. I was a bit but I was young and let it go. One night discussing it with my girlfriends we stalked her on line and I did look like her Same shape face, same colour hair, same body type, she used to have my hair style but chopped it all off. I was her pre her three kids.

He turned out to be a real arsehole

Ex 1 I do still find attractive (but don’t fancy him, which I know sounds odd), our relationship didn’t work due to his job, so we chose to split and are very good friends.

Ex 2 is an absolute cock and I have more chance of fancying my own sick.

Do you have a type OP? I know I definitely do. There’s nothing wrong with it at all.

@SimonJT.."fancying my own sick " !!!!