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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Slept with someone during break up

29 replies

Jasmine24 · 09/04/2019 01:08

A year ago I sleep with someone when my partner and I broke up, we broke up due to finding texts from another women which were hidden and broke up for a month. Fast fwd a year later we are together and so happy. Problem is I never told him what happened when we broke up, he never asked so I didn't tell but I am starting to feel incredibly guilty and I don't know how to deal with it. Its been well over a year now since this happened but I cant help but constantly cant stop thinking about it. Any advice would be great? I don't know if I'm overthinking it all. Please no negative.

OP posts:
Dieu · 09/04/2019 05:25

Hi OP. It was a year ago, so I would definitely leave it.
It is actually very telling that he didn't ask you about what you got up to in that period. This could suggest that he doesn't want you to ask the same question of him!
Interesting that your guilt is still so strong after all this time. Are you certain that you're really as happy as you say you are in the relationship? It's just that subconsciously, you could be looking to sabotage things by telling him what happened ....
Just saying!

Original poster
Jasmine24 · 09/04/2019 05:29

Dieu I think you hit the nail on the head. My subconscious is probably telling me something. Yur advice was very helpful. Thank you x

OP posts:
Scarlettmaid · 09/04/2019 09:03

You said he didn't ask you. There is your answer. He doesn't want to know. He doesn't want to discuss what either of you did during that month. You don't owe him any explanation, you broke up for a reason, he doesn't own your past. It isn't a healthy state of mind when you start thinking that you must tell someone about what happened when you were not with them. I have been in that situation and it is soul destroying.

Musti · 09/04/2019 11:42

If he had wanted to know he would have asked you. You don't owe him an explanation just like he doesn't owe you one about what he did when you weren't together.

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