Intellectually not compatible

[fuddle]

I've posted here before and the problem is I am beginning to feel very inadequate. When I met my DP 18 months ago I was the best thing out and was really put on a pedastal I was the funniest, cleverest you name it the best girlfriend he'd ever had. Yes he'd loved a few before but not like this! Also very intense. I never asked for this. However I feel intelligence wise he is much cleverer than me which you wouldn't think too much of a problem as I'm not exactly stupid myself. We have lots in common but its like he's read every book watched every film which he probably has. I've been out with intelligent men before and I haven't felt the way I feel now. I'm not saying for a minute that its him but I can't help feeling I know nothing and its beginning to get to me. I could become more knowledgeable but is that the answer. I've tried to explain this to him that I've brought up three children all close in age and those years seem a bit of a blur. Its how to talk to him without sounding like I'm being critical. I notice he uses vocabulary that people seldom use too. He's very insecure about how he looks and says I'm too good for him perhaps he's just flexing his intellectual muscles I don't know. Its how to talk in a constructive way. Its never him that brings up any issues either and it can look as if I'm just being difficult. Has anyone else had this problem ? I have to recognise my own failings here too though.

Reading books and watching films doesn't make someone intellectual (and anyway many books and films are crap) Why do you feel that he's so clever - does he make you feel inadequate? Some men infantilise women to make them feel rubbish and ergo they feel superior. Is that what's happening?
Anyway people are often in relationship s where one partner is cleverer than the other (my partner is way smarter than me) but it's other qualities such as kindness, humour, generosity and patience etc. that they see in the person and the way that person loves them. Maybe it's your qualities your boyfriend loves about you - but just be careful he's not trying to make out he's superior to you intellectually if he's actually not.

This is ringing a few alarm bells for me OP. The bit about him putting you on a pedestal at first but now, 18 months later, making you feel stupid and inadequate. I’m not saying he is abusive but this pattern is characteristic of an abuser.

Do you feel he is showing off or belittling you? Or is he just like that.

My DH is very very smart. Extremely well read. Can answer nearly every question at a pub quiz. Top of his year in Cambridge smart. But he’s fascinating and has taught me so much about many things. He’s a bit older so I had some catching up to do but now can hold my own. There’s things I know well about that he’s not strong in. I still love listening to his take on things and recognise that he gets things better than the average person but we all have our weaknesses, he does too. I don’t need to match him on everything to be equal.

I think the problem lies with me tbh. I just find it very annoying and I don't think I have any right to. I cannot really put my finger on why. I should like the fact he's more intelligent and he can impart knowledge. He hasn't set out to make me feel anyway he's very intense about things though so if he's describing a film its always with lots of enthusiasm.
He was in a very emotional and physically abusive relationship for years but even though it was that I'm sure he had his faults.
He is very full on so for example watches lots of programmes reads lots and seems to need constant stimulation ! Sorry if this is rambling but yr comments are very helpful.
I get that people are good at different things but I just feel something is not right.