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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Will he abuse new partner?

3 replies

AnonymFriend · 07/04/2019 22:38

A friend was recently dumped by her long term partner. I was friends with both of them and always knew he had a sullen, critical side, but since the break up my friend has confided in me that he was physically abusive to her. His abuse wasn't cold and calculated, but he was very moody, used his moods to get his own way, and would be violent towards her when something triggered his anger.

He has now got together with another woman I'm friends with. How likely is he to do the same to her? Should I warn her, by letting her know how he treated my friend? Is it unfair on him if he doesn't get a chance for a fresh start?

(I have my friend's permission to share the information but she says it's my decision.)

OP posts:
BeanJen · 07/04/2019 22:41

Since you have the other lady's permission to do so, I would have a quiet word with the lady he is now with and just tell her what you know. Tell her that all you are interested in is her safety not to be nosy, and that maybe she should just keep her eye out for any signs of him being abusive. A leopard doesn't change their spots and how bad would you feel if you found out in 2 years that she had been suffering in silence?
I also as a mother would be very grateful for anyone giving me such a warning.
I would however expect to be either brushed off or told off by this lady if she's really into the guy. Just know you've done the right thing regardless 👍🏻👍🏻

Prawnofthepatriarchy · 07/04/2019 22:43

Depending on how well I knew them (so had some idea how they'd react to unsolicited advice) I would say something.

CandyCreeper · 07/04/2019 22:46

You can say something but you cant stop him from having a relationship, which he will do. Its not going to remain single.

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