Anyone overcome avoidant attachment?

[MoreSlidingDoors]

I’ve known for some time that I have avoidant attachment, which stems from a traumatic event in childhood and the impact that had on the relationship between my mother and I. It’s causing me real issues in my marriage and generally in coping with things. I feel very detached from life at the moment.

I can access counselling via work, but Is it something that can be overcome? Whenever I try to be authentic and honest I’m proved wrong, and that actually, I can only rely on myself, which takes me right back to square one.

Has anyone been through this?

Wheresmyvagina see my list about how to overcome. I work in attachment. It's hard because those strategies have served important functions for us at times of being under threat or needing to seek comfort (during childhood) so they are important. To then convince the mind and body not to employ that strategy takes hard work over years but it is possible. Might be useful to read up on the DMM (Google this as far too complex for me to explain here).

Watching with interest as I'm similar. You hear all this stuff about 'just be yourself' but the minute I do, things implode.

Just to add, I'm currently in therapy with my narc mum and she keeps describing me as 'independent' from a very young age. I just don't recognise that quality in myself at all - what I have felt is very different -an aching loneliness - transient friendships- love with nowhere to put it - and when I do, it's always the wrong person.

@whylie what you describe sounds like childhood neglect in addition to poor attachment.