Is there a best way to tell a man that you're inexperienced?

[CountdownTeapotIsMyGoal]

I'm 28 and I've only just started dating. I've been on five dates with a man and I do really like him. I like kissing him (although I still feel more confident after a drink). He asked me to come back to his yesterday and I said that I didn't feel like it. I was really worried I'd ruined it but he's messaging me today like normal.

I think I need to tell him that I've never had sex (in fact, I've never been alone with a man ) soon but I'm not sure how to do it.

option a) text him and tell him? now?
option b) text him just before we meet
option c) wait until I'm drunk and blurt it out?

I don't want to scare him off.

I would go for option d): tell him in person while sober (or as close to sober as you can stand). In your situation, I’d also want commitment before sex. So many men are players and only looking for sex, which is bad enough when you’ve been around the block a few times, but might be much worse for you.

I would also add that if this scares him off, that shows he’s not right for you. Most decent men would be fine with your situation. Wishing you like.

*luck!

Most men I know would respect you no end and in fact be delighted! I really wouldn’t worry.

I wouldnt worry about him being scared off, it would be the complete opposite for most men I would imagine

Would you wait until the conversation kind of goes that way? Or just seize the moment?

In your situation, I’d also want commitment before sex.
I'm actually worried about this as well. I don't know how long it will be before I feel ready. I don't want to put a time line on it. I also (possibly irrationally or unnecessarily) feel like I'm accidentally sleepwalking into a really serious relationship by making having sex this huge thing.

Have a conversation with him in person & tell him what you told us. That you're not experienced in sex so while he's lovely & you fancy him, he may have to take the lead on it... he'll know what you mean

Roll the dice, OP. A good man will want to work with your boundaries & be respectful. It's all about having fun, after all. Trust your gut around him

Thank you.

I suppose what I meant was: personally, I’d at the very least prefer him not to be sleeping with anyone else. It doesn’t necessarily mean it needs to be a serious relationship between you two.

The LAST thing you should do is to text him about this. You're an adult so have an adult conversation, face to face.

I've been in those shoes OP (I was 31). It's definitely the best plan to tell him face to face. And in my experience decent men are fine about it.

Be prepared that as well as making you nervous, it may well make him nervous about having sex with you. One thing my boyfriends said to me was that they worried about living up to expectation as I'd 'waited' so long.

I hadn't really actually 'waited', it's just that the opportunity hadn't arisen with anyone I fancied enough up to that point.

Good luck! Enjoy the dating thing. It's deliciously good fun when it's a good match!

I'm not massively experienced but dating someone who has far more experience that me. He is aware I haven't done a huge amount in the bedroom but that I am open to things and exploring. He loves this and is totally focussed on me and letting me lead the pace.

A decent man will respect you so don't worry about it and just talk to him. If there's one thing I've learned it's that good communication is key.