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Original poster

DH not knowing how to cook!!!!

31 replies

JUstme123456778 · 07/04/2019 17:26

I’m getting really annoyed with DH not knowing how to cook. He doesn’t even want to learn to cook either. He waits for me to come from work after picking DC from nursery in the evenings to make dinner.
He will sometimes put some chips in the oven with nuggets or fish fingers but that’s all he knows to do.
I get envious with my friends when they go on about how much their husbands cook and how much help they get in the kitchen.
We both work full time but I also drop off and collect my little one from nursery.
Am I the only one whose husband doesn’t cook?

OP posts:

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 07/04/2019 17:28

If you can read you can cook- he doesn’t want to cook.
Did he go straight from his parents house to being married? Did he never live by himself and have to cook?

Original poster

JUstme123456778 · 07/04/2019 17:30

He lived on his own since he was 18 but he always bought ready meals :-/

OP posts:

LellyMcKelly · 07/04/2019 17:30

He’s a lazy arse. Buy him a cookery book and tell him to stop being a big man baby. You’re not his mum.

EL8888 · 07/04/2019 17:30

^ he can’t be bothered learning to cook. It’s really not that hard. If l was you then l would be negotiating which night he cooks and which nights you do. With him not doing takeaway and chips every time it’s his night

AgentJohnson · 07/04/2019 17:34

So he went from one woman pandering to him to another. Stop cooking for him, cooking is a life skill.

Malope · 07/04/2019 17:34

Just throwing in the other side of the coin, here... I am the DW. I can't cook, so I don't. It stresses me out, I get it wrong, the meal is not nice as a result. So, DH does all the cooking.

I can make salads and other cold meals, though!

AnnaMagnani · 07/04/2019 17:38

Mine doesn't either. Has just suddenly realised he will have to as I am going to be working away from home half the week and he's off ready meals and doesn't want to starve.

Until now we have lived happily with me cooking evening meals and him doing all breakfasts, lunches and doing all washing up.

So could you even negotiate a fair split of chores?

Sarahlou63 · 07/04/2019 17:39

Buy him a cookery course as a birthday present

eddiemairswife · 07/04/2019 17:46

My father had to cook after my mother died. He was 80, I didn't live near, but he managed to cook a decent meal for himself each day.

SunnySomer · 07/04/2019 17:58

My MIL doesn’t cook. She says she hates doing it. Both her husbands have been great cooks and in the time she was on her own she just did kind of instant stuff (boil in the bag etc). But she does pull her weight in terms of chopping, making salad, washing up etc, so as a pp said, perhaps you could share chores better?

Malope · 07/04/2019 18:13

Agree with PPs. So long as you're pitching in equally across the house, it shouldn't matter in the long term.

Grumpbum123 · 07/04/2019 18:14

Mine ate at work and had toast for tea. He still takes a back seat but after a recent hospital stay for me he coped spgbbol, omelettes and cobbled food together for the kids

S1lverB1rchW7 · 07/04/2019 18:21

I think that some people don't enjoy food or cooking, it's just a necessity of life. Compared to foodies who love food, cook books/social media, texture, taste, smell, preparation, end result. The contrast between the 2 sorts of people are enormous. In modern society, you can survive by eating takeaway or ready meals. There is no longer a requirement to cook everything from scratch. However, cooking, like swimming is a handy skill to have ! Also, it's sometimes about making an effort for other people, even if is something simple !

Original poster

JUstme123456778 · 07/04/2019 18:27

@Sarahlou63 hahaha that’s a good idea!!

He bought a dishwasher as he hates washing up too but he does clean the kitchen and fills up the dishwasher after we have dinner.
He works 6 days a week and I sometimes feel guilty to ask him to do extra chores. I try covering everything as much as I can.
But it got to me that last week he was home before me and he literally could not be bothered to wait for us with a cooked meal.

OP posts:

Murinae · 07/04/2019 18:30

My husband is the same. We have just started getting hello fresh boxes and he has actually cooked two of the meals following the recipe cards. They turned out really well too (spart from the fact he burnt my pan!)

Inawholeofdoom82 · 07/04/2019 18:34

All he has to do is be able to follow a basic recipe, step by step. Even my 8 year old ds can do that. It's just bloody lazy and he is setting a terrible example.

Original poster

JUstme123456778 · 07/04/2019 18:34

@Murinae that’s interesting...I might try that too. At weekends to start with to see if it works out.

OP posts:

SkinnyPete · 07/04/2019 18:39

Dishwasher is OK. Not knowing how to cook is OK too. Assuming he can cook ready meals, tins, really simple stuff. If it's not too your standard, then maybe you have to do it yourself.

Murinae · 07/04/2019 19:16

@JUstme123456778 there was an offer code on Facebook for two weeks boxes with 50% off each one which I used. The code was FBWCA2X50

Dyrne · 07/04/2019 19:20

What do you mean by ‘cook’? I can never be arsed with complex spices, or fanning about with adding ingredients at exact times. So my cooking is more ‘bung X in the oven, Chuck potatoes in water on hob; come back 20 mins later to steam veg; 10 mins later job done.

DP loves cooking so gets more adventurous when it’s his turn.

Saying he “can’t” cook is a massive cop out. Is boiling a kettle, putting pasta in a pan, adding the water then leaving on the hob for 10ish minutes REALLY beyond him? Of course it isn’t. He just doesn’t want to.

Clutterbugsmum · 07/04/2019 19:21

He doesn’t even want to learn to cook either why have you allowed him not to learn to cook. And yes I'm blaming you for allowing him to continue.

My DH quickly learnt to wash up after to dinner if he wanted me to cook dinner after we moved in together. I would buy dinner at work so I wouldn't need to have a cooked dinner at home.

He needs to learn just because he can't be bothered is no excuse. There are loads of 'adult' jobs we have whether we want to or not.

Original poster

JUstme123456778 · 07/04/2019 19:21

@Murinae thank you very much! Will give it a try. X

OP posts:

Clutterbugsmum · 07/04/2019 19:23

I should have added my DH can cook I just enjoy doing it more then him.

formerbabe · 07/04/2019 19:26

Pretty much the same.

My oh doesn't really cook. Like yours, he will throw some frozen stuff in the oven if he has to, and if I'm not home, he will cook something for the dc, but generally no. It doesn't bother me actually...I'm a sahm of school age dc so I have time...I also enjoy cooking and am good at it. I suppose I'm quite territorial of the kitchen.

He is great with diy, fixing stuff and general manly jobs. It works for us.

I've noticed men who are really interested in cooking invariably tend to be under 40 and quite middle class.

EmperorBallpitine · 07/04/2019 19:27

My dh used to try and get out of it by saying he didn't know how, I'd just leave easy food for him. Luckily as the children got older they began to tease him about not cooking until he said No, I can, and then had to prove it

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