Hi all!
Well the ex threw us (me and my 8 year old daughter) out when I was 7 weeks pregnant. (Not that he will ever admit that he did!)
To keep an extremely long story short - I sold my house and he bought a lovely family home for us all to live in. We were in it a matter of weeks. The pregnancy was ivf and we had literally just booked our wedding just weeks before. In my eyes we were living the dream. Honestly. I've never been happier.
I have my little girl from a previous relationship and he had his little boy that he saw every other weekend. Those two kids got on really well.
Then literally after our 7 week scan he just snapped and said it couldn't do it. He hired a van the next day and moved our stuff back to my exchanged but not quite completed house that we all used to live in.
His excuse? He felt his son was unhappy!! That he would feel like daddy had a new family. That I was too hard on him by making him do the things my daughter does in the home like shoes away, plates in the dishwasher etc. They were 8&9. I encouraged him when he couldn't do something instead of sitting back and doing it for him which is what happened at his mums house. The little boy was extremely anxious and needed the encouragement.
He had nothing to do with my pregnancy even though I tried desperately. I was rock bottom as you could imagine. My whole world ripped apart. My family in shreds. Not really understanding what the hell had happened!
I'm not sure where I found the strength but I sofa hopped for months while I managed to secure me and my daughter a new home. I went to all the scans and appointments on my own. He had nothing to do with us.
1 month before baby is born I didn't get a text message on my birthday and the next day he text to apologise. Weird.
I told him where we were now living and he said he wanted to come round (3 mins away from his house) with a card.
He did. He walked in and kissed me!!!
I took this opportunity to pull him back in, I put it all down to a mental breakdown of sorts. He was all over me. Coming round, rubbing my belly.
Throughout it all I did everything I could to pull him back in. And his son. Presents, cards. Etc.
I let him come to the birth of his little girl and then he spits me back out because I wouldn't let him take my 2 day old newborn to costa coffee to see his son that I'm no longer (apparently down to his mum) allowed to see 💔
I then dont hear from him for most of his paternity leave. And he initiates and hour a week contact with now 3 week old baby.
No support. No money. Nothing,
Problem is, he now ignores my 9 year old daughter (who he promised the world to) and she is getting really upset about his coming round, understandably. She's been amazing with him after all he's done.
He doesn't think he's done anything wrong. He maintains he was protecting his child but also maintains he wants me to have a relationship with him now but he's battling against his mum to get her to allow him to see me!
It's such a mess.
I loved that little boy.
My daughter is now becoming affected and my heart breaks for my baby being born into this.
I struggle to have any conversation with him as any slight confrontation and he kicks off. He keeps threatening "fine.. go to a contact centre then" I'm sick of him using this as a stick to continue to beat me with.
But a newborn in a handover situation where he knows nothing about the baby.. how to make her bottle, her routine etc is making me very nervous.
I'm trying to keep it all together but I'm exhausted as you can imagine.
Any help would be much appreciated xx