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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

So your 60?

14 replies

nevis42 · 07/04/2019 12:06

On Friday my daughter arranged a surprise family meal for me. My brother, his wife and my mum were there. I wondered where my husband's kids were and thought it strange. When we got home, hubby said my daughter asked everyone but he phoned and told his daughter and son not to come.... They'd had an argument bet them a while ago and he didn't want an atmosphere - that I can understand but he went onto say they were both hurt they weren't allowed to come. Why even tell me he stopped them? Surely it was about me not them? Anyway, yesterday I was 60. No Happy Birthday, no flowers and no sodding present!! How did I spend my day you may ask? Visited my mum (had a good cry) then came home to find shopping bags on the table.... Oh joy, we were off to visit Mr Tesco! Wined and dined later? No sooner were we home when hubby but the oven on.... We had beefburger and chips!! Hubby said oh you'll have to see about booking a cruise to see the northern lights for your birthday. Isn't that kind of buying your own present or is that just me? We'd already spoken about this and I said no, it was way too expensive.
I am raging!!! Am I being unreasonable??
My daughter says I should tell him but if I did, he'd go moody and the atmosphere would be awful

OP posts:
WarmFuzzyF33lin7 · 07/04/2019 13:06

Happy birthday !
I have a big birthday next week(not 60)
I started looking at holidays abroad in December & it's booked. I've also made plans to meet up with various people.
Perhaps, you should have made your wishes more obvious

SelkieRinnNaMara · 07/04/2019 13:11

Happy birthday! You have years to enjoy life still ahead of you and resentment kills joy. Go on the northern lights cruise on your own or with your friend(s) and bring a pile of books and eat read relax

WarmFuzzyF33lin7 · 07/04/2019 13:17

Life is too short and for living ! Book a holiday !

nevis42 · 07/04/2019 13:31

thank you ladies. Hubby wants to do the cruise, of which I'm not going on as can't afford it. I should point out we're both retired and spend 4 months in Goa each year. However he makes no effort! February I bought a pendant from a market which was heart shaped. The next day he said it was my Valentine present!!
I was so looking forward to being spoiled this year and surprised... I'm always surprising him. All he does is sit playing bloody computer games from the minute he gets up till 6pm!! Feel my life's going bloody no where

OP posts:
nevis42 · 07/04/2019 13:34

Every birthday /chri hubby tells me to buy myself something. Then I come home, give it to him and he wraps it! This time, for once, I'd have liked him to have done something, anything!!! Sorry for ranting but I'm so mad right now at how Unthoughtful he is

OP posts:
SelkieRinnNaMara · 07/04/2019 13:35

Time to stop investing energy in to surprising him. Best presents are from me to me I find!

Anniegetyourgun · 07/04/2019 13:35

I had a great 60th birthday, just the way I wanted it. Because I'm divorced. I can heartily recommend it.

Potatonose · 07/04/2019 13:47

How is he usually on birthdays?

I would love to see the Northern Lights too! Maybe if the cruise is too much what about a trip over there? My co-worker went when it was out of season I think and it was a bit cheaper.

Happy Birthday. Cake Flowers

Potatonose · 07/04/2019 13:48

Oh just read your last post, not very thoughtful.

Nanny0gg · 07/04/2019 20:45

Do you not share money? Why does he want to go on the cruise if you can't afford it?

rumred · 07/04/2019 21:04

Jesus why are you with someone so unkind? Sorry, can't see the point of him at all.

Cambionome · 07/04/2019 21:15

So he can afford a cruise but you can't?Confused

nevis42 · 07/04/2019 22:52

We do share money... Only he is not as sensible as me and must think money grows on trees. He never used to be so inconsiderate but now there's just no effort

OP posts:
S1lverB1rchW7 · 08/04/2019 23:04

I've seen the Northern lights in Iceland in January. Possibly a cheaper option for you ? They are a natural phenomenon, so not guaranteed to see. I also enjoyed the golden circle tour & Blue Lagoon hot pool. If you book early, you can get return flights for under £100

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