I was having this on and off distant relationship with a guy that ended suddenly last week.. before this, a couple of times he told me i was too needy and broke it off with me (because He always seemed evasive and non commital), but we had a lot of chemistry and he was in some ways really kind and passionate towards me, and great with my kids. Anyway, we arranged a holiday get away streets away from near where he lives in a nice little B&B on the seafront his friends ran, where I travelled across the country to meet him, while on the long train journey, he told me over text, ‘DON’T pressure me to meet you at 6 tonight!!, I can’t deal with any stress today and need to relax’... (he’d had a hard day, he lost his bag on the bus and had a bit of a ball ache getting it back, but as did I, who had been carrying heavy luggage , taking kids to grandmas, , going on several modes of transport, dealing with busy terminals etc to come and see specifically him ), so this wasn’t exactly the romantic welcome I’d hoped for, we had been planning this holiday for weeks, so i was taken aback by his tone , firstly i wasn’t at all pressuring him in anyway, so this seemed quite strange and out of the blue thing to say... but also I was getting in at 5, so he’d already pushed the meeting time back a whole hour, which actually I just took in my stride, didn’t even blink an eye about ,just brushed it off, But i was there to see him, and only him, I now was going to have to deal with the place we were staying , which was owned by his friends I’d never met, alone, and it really made me feel uneasy and anxious, and sad, like unimportant to him, considering the fact he had nothing other to do than go fishing to ‘relax his nerves’, it seemed like he was being aggressive too , like i’d been on his case, which I hadn’t.
all of my instincts were saying this was way off, this is untrustworthy behaviour. so I said i didn’t like his attitude, but it would be ok, and he should take as long as he wanted to rest, but please if he has to change meeting times, can he next time apologise for the disruption and say it a bit nicer’ , he got mad and said that was a horrible thing to say, like I was telling him off. So I explained why it felt like crap the way he said that and that i needed him to show more respect to me when I had travelled so far, and it was quite a big deal for me to do that, so much time and effort to come and see him. He then suddenly ended the relationship over the phone and hung up. I was left in a different part of the country, staying with strangers for a week, as train fares last minute home were extortionate.
he lived streets away and never visited or checked in, other than he told me in a couple of messages that he would never put up with this kind of crap from anyone else and that he wished he had never allowed me into his life, which seemed really over reactionary.
These words rung in my ears the whole week, I had an awful time. I had experienced a lot of heartbreak, my husband left me for another woman a year ago, and this was my first foray into another romance. I felt totally deserted, and now also like some kind of pariah , that I was somehow bad and wrong, but still underneath it I knew I didn’t deserve that
. I wish i hadn't Said anything about the attitude he seemed to have, but I was just trying to not be a doormat I support, I felt disrespected.