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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How can i help my children to avoid destructive relationships?

2 replies

nannytothequeen · 06/04/2019 23:36

My own marriage to their father imploded spectacularly. I have very limited contact with him now. He sees the children for a couple of weekends a month but contributes nothing else. He moved his girlfriend and a former friend of mine in with him shortly after our long marriage ended. I am not in a relationship and it seems unlikely I ever will be. I know that I have been damaged by these circumstances.

I carefully read all the threads about here kinds of situations and the theme seems to be that bad feeling is destructive to my kids own chances of forming good relationships of their own . I certainly do not model amicable contact - I model no contact at all and he will never ever answer his phone to me or return my messages if there is something important. So I don't bother anymore. I do what I think is best. When the kids talk about him my stock answers are 'that sounds good' or 'that's nice' and when its something critical I roll my eyes and say 'well you know what he's like.' I am concerned about modelling good relationships but feel that I have little opportunity to do that. So the only relationship my children see close up is him and the OW and they are quite scathing of the way that she agrees with everything he says and the fact that she is always asking questions about me. Any advice?

OP posts:
Bubblegumgal · 10/04/2019 00:14

Okay, well I’d stop with the ‘well you know what he’s like’ but most importantly just teach them about boundaries, putting themselves first & gratitude. Yours & your exes aren’t the only relationship they see, they have a relationship with you, each other, f

Bubblegumgal · 10/04/2019 00:15

Crap. Posted too soon...anyway...
friends, grandparents, relatives. All of these relationships build toward how they pick & deal with their future romantic relationships.

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