Can’t get over jealousy

[Rspu1384]

I know I’m being an idiot and letting jealousy make me bitter. It’s a bit of a long one (sorry)

So I’ve been with my husband for 8-9 years (no children we have infertility issues we are know in pursuit of treatment)
Oh brother had a child with someone and abandoned the child, he then got with a new girl ( let’s call her jade) within 3 months she was pregnant and they now have a child 🙄 think she only had the child because the other girl had his and we all suspect she played a part in him not seeing his child. Anyway I feel incredibly jealous of her, I have always been told I am good looking, but comments from my oh family ( they are vile and I know avoid them) they have said things like she is prettier, slimmer, has a good job and a nice car and her own place. I also own my home with oh, material things don’t bother me but I feel jealous that she is better looking and I’ve noticed she is flirty with my oh.
I’m jealous of the child thing to be honest, she’s now very close with my in laws because of this and I feel almost pushed out.
I don’t know how to get over this jealousy, I think it all deep down comes from me feeling inferior because of her being able to have a baby literally 2 seconds after trying when me and oh have been trying 6 years. I don’t know I’m being stupid and shallow aren’t I?
How can I stop being jealous? For some reason I feel like I’m a little fixated and obsessed with her. ( I mean I think about her constantly and things like do I look as pretty as “jade”) I feel like I have to make out my life is better than hers on social media.
I have never been like this in my life! Btw I know I sound mental. What TF is wrong with me?

You've projected your insecurities onto someone who let's face it does sound rather annoying.

I think you need to feel the best way you can about yourself, concentrate on your own needs so that your focus is off of her.

Easier said than done though if you are fixated.

Don't look at her social media, avoid seeing her and if family chat comes around to talking about her, smile blankly and pretend to listen whilst you daydream about something else.

we all suspect she played a part in him not seeing his child.

His child is his responsibility. Any man who allows a woman to play a part in not seeing his child is a fool.

So are your DHs family saying she is prettier than you? Have you heard this directly from them?

If she's flirty with your DH...he needs to make boundaries clear...but make sure it's not just her being friendly and you're obsessed.

There will always be someone more attractive, slimmer or richer than all of us. You need to be confident in yourself and focus on your marriage.