Is this it for my love life?

[Peachesandcream14]

I'm 25 and have a 3 year old DD. I split with her Dad 8 months ago and I am really struggling with the reality of being a single parent. I don't want another relationship for a long while, but I have needs, I've never been so sexually frustrated in my life and it is so scary trying to find someone for some fun. I just want to have a few drinks, chat with another adult, enjoy myself and be touched goddamit. I feel scared as I haven't dated for years and years, and feel it's a little irresponsible for me to meet someone on a rare night out when ex has DD and go home with them. I've been raped by two of my long term exes and it's terrifying thinking that it could happen again. I recently started texting an old flame as that seemed safer and it seemed to be going well, he was very keen to meet, suggested a day (yesterday) - and then nothing, he hasn't even read my message asking if we were still on for that evening. I haven't bothered texting again as clearly he isn't that interested and I don't want to look desperate. I'm in very good shape, I'm intelligent, have interests and hobbies and I feel I have a lot to give but I imagine most men are put off by the young single mum thing. I am lonely a lot as most of my friends have stopped talking to me since I split up with ex, I have one friend I see regularly and that's it. It's making me feel really despondent thinking that this is it for me, a life of loneliness and rejection. I could deal with it if I was much older but now I feel the love part of my life is over, or at least going to be difficult and fraught. How do single mums meet decent men? Any tips?

Sorry, I have no particular tips as I'm in a similar boat It does feel like you might end up being lonely forever sometimes... though it really is very unlikely. You've became single only recently and there's adjusting to being a single parent of a young child which makes dating seem pretty difficult.
Why not take it easy for now and just go to some public places where you could flirt with men? On rare occasions where I was without dc, I took my laptop to a nearby cafe and I one handsome waiter got intrigued by what I was working on and we ended up chatting. It really isn't that exciting, but it did give me butterflies and confidence that not all is lost

I think it'd be a good idea to work on rebuilding your social circle. Why did you lose your friends when you split up with your ex?

I hear ya, im the same although a little older. I dont want a full on relationship, but nailing down a FWB is hard, even though on the face of it its a very good deal for the guy!? No answers here, i just keep trying!

From all you've said, you're long overdue a half-decent partner in your life. I know you've been on your own for a while and apart from your DD life sounds pretty lousy right now.

How you meet someone new in your circumstances, I guess it sounds as though you really need to open yourself up to an entirely new circle of friends. A couple of Meetup groups rather than a night out clubbing maybe, somewhere where you might meet people with your interests and on your intellectual level... and who, chances are, may be single and potentially randy

All I'd say though is, you're 25. It's allowed to put yourself first, it's not irresponsible to get yourself out there when you get the opportunity. You clearly have a lot going for you even if you might not feel like it right now. And it might feel against your natural instincts right now but try to be selective. You've had some shite experiences up to now, another muppet is not what you need in the long run.

Thank you all, it's comforting to know there are people in similar boats. Friends have dropped off a bit as we all lived in the same area, and I've had to move back in with my parents over 100 miles away, so ex is still around socialising with them whereas I'm rarely around and when I am people are busy. A lot of coupled up female friends have been studiously ignoring me, I think they think breakups are catching or something!

I find it's very hard to find likeminded people for friendship, I come from a very privileged background, I'm well educated and having a baby young is absolutely unheard of in my previous circles, other young mums I know are from very different backgrounds and I think it's a bit alienating that we have such different experiences, despite now all being young mums on benefits. I would probably have more in common with older mums but they avoid talking to me at baby groups, or I get pointed comments about how young I am. The younger working class mums will chat at the playground but I think they are put off by my accent, it's very plummy and hard to disguise

I'm trying very hard not to text the old flame and look like a clinger but it's tough, we had such a connection all those years ago and I thought he'd be up for some NSA fun, but clearly not

If you are just after a fwb most dating apps are full of them! Try it 😁
Also it's easy for me to say as I am ten years older than you but confidence is key.... you are young and by your own admission in good shape so just get out there, they will be falling at your feet!
Like I say I am much older and not in good shape (and married) and know two men from work that would have a fwb set up if I let them!
You must know your own worth, once you do everyone else will see it x

I see what you're saying about being a young mum and feeling like the odd one (not that common in my area). I ended up befriending people older than me, being in the same life stage and having common interests is what matters more.
Don't let that disinterested ex hurt your self-esteem, sometimes developing a crush on an unassuming stranger or some celeb can be a helpful distraction