I'm a fool....again

[StepMummyLife]

Not sure why I'm writing this other than I guess I just feel so alone, unlovable and worthless.

This evening/morning I found out that my partner is sexting other woman, again. I've already forgiven him once about three months ago for cheating on me. At the time he had been sexting about 10 women and met up with at least half of them. I was just beginning to slowly trust him again and things were looking up (we moved house 2 days ago, due to go on holiday in under three weeks) and now this.

I know I should leave, however I do love him and I see all the good in him but realistically how many more nights can I lie awake crying and hurting so bad. Also I don't think staying sets a good example to my stepson, he shouldn't think it's ago for women to be treated like this. I feel so stuck, powerless, worthless. I don't want to exist anymore

So he's not the father of your child? No reason to stay for the sake of the children then.

And what are you going to do? Do you own the house or rent it?

Oh sorry it's your stepson, not your son. Do you have children with this man?

It's not a real relationship though? Is it? He doesn't love you and has no respect for you either.
But that's not the real problem here really. The problem is is you don't love yourself or respect yourself enough putting up with such a shitty man. You need to examine why your bar is set so low and raise it.

LTB! You deserve better and you ARE worth more than this shit!
It's so very hard to have to face up to the cold fact that he doesn't care as much as you, and it will hurt like Hell cos you love him, but he isn't worth your love, time, and emotional investment.
Try and be "cold" and think things through as if there was no emotion - you need somewhere to live - or kick him out! and give yourself time to grieve for the person you thought he was and the "could have beens" until you're ready and able to move on.

Oh sweet! You will never work he’s clearly not happy with what he has got I would of left the first time as sometimes love isn’t enough, he’s clearly one of those guys I’m afraid! I would tell him to go your worth more than that

Come on, you can’t stay after this. It’s not a relationship, he is single, he is not in a relationship with you.

Well, you can stay, but accept he's not going to be faithful, and just learn not to care about that. It doesn't sound like a good way to live your life to me, but it's one option.

I hope later on the shock will wear off a bit and you'll feel anger instead. If you're still feeling so low, please speak to the Samaritans. No man is worth this. Not one.

So your stepson must be his son and I assume you have no children together? Then why are you still together.

He has NO INTENTION of being in a committed relationship with you (or anyone probably) and wants to just fuck around. It's his responsibility to teach his son right from wrong and it's not for you to 'save' this kids upbringing and instil morals and decency. You love the idea of him but I can't see how any good points could outweigh the fact he sees you as no more than a babysitter and rent-a-fanny.

It's his behaviour that has reinforced how you feel about yourself... that you don't deserve better? You do! That you won't find better elsewhere? You can! That you NEED him in some way? You don't!

Please get rid of this shit excuse of a man. Completely cut him off and start working on yourself. Build your confidence. Follow your dreams. Do things for you and when you are ready to let someone in, someone who is worthy of your time - then go with it.

He’s shown you he will lie and cheat, make false promises and then carry on cheating and lying - all in a matter of weeks. People this extreme never change IME. So don’t make any plans based on things being any different because no matter what he says it won’t be. Cut him loose and spent some time looking after yourself while you get over it. Betrayal is horribly shocking and confusing and takes time to process x

I hope you’ve managed some sleep and feel a little better.

I was in your position a year ago. I found messages, he left, I took him back because I’d had a health scare. 6 weeks later him and a friend were at it planning their affair. I might’ve felt unlovable and worthless at the time but I absolutely wasn’t, just like you're not. It’s painful to let go of one life and start another one but less sleepless nights crying and hurting overall. The alternative is to accept poor behaviour but you deserve so much better than that.

You are worth so much more, do you really want to spend the rest of your life being hurt and let down over and over again?

Yes it’ll hurt for a while but it’ll hurt a lot les than constantly being shit on by someone who has no respect for his partner.

There are good men out there, he isn’t one of them x

Thank you all. After confronting him this morning he's left and I'm packing my bags. He can have the house (we don't own it), my heart is breaking at losing him and my Stepson but staying will destroy me in the end. Thank you all again

Well done OP. I've forgiven this type of thing many a time in my past. I'd like the think of it happens now I'd end it.

Good luck, this is the right thing. It'll hurt a lot now, but in the long term, it'll be so much better for you to end the relationship here.

You are not worthless. The fact that you chose this man, they creep about finding vulnerable women to exploit - they can sense vulnerability, suggests to me that you have a significant backstory around low self esteem. Get that sorted and it will help you bin the tosser and not find yourself I. This position. You are worth more. A good counsellor or even decent self help reading could be invaluable for you to getting over this.

Well done OP, you're doing the right thing. Staying with men who treat us badly is more about our own self-worth/self-esteem. I suspect you need to focus and work on that. Perhaps some counseling could help you address these issues of thinking you're not good enough to be treated well. HE DOES NOT DESERVE YOU.