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Relationships

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Please help me make sense of this "Friendship"

3 replies

CherryCupcake · 12/07/2007 19:08

I met my friend 2 years ago, her dd is in the same class as my DC at school and we just got talking more and more and gradually became friends.

We go shopping together sometimes, go into town together, go for coffees, take the kids bowling occasionally, we don't see each other ALL the time but quite alot.

Anyway I don't know what to make of the friendship anymore, if she's on her own she's fine, she'll wait for me, talk to me etc but if she's with anyone else its different.

In a morning she will usually wait for me whilst I take my youngest into school, this morning because she had got talking to someone else she said "hello" and that was it. Last week I saw her in the playground, she asked me what I was doing for the day and I said I was going to do my shopping at asda, she looked fed up and hinted and wanting to come so I asked her to come and she jumped at the chance as she hates being on her own...yesterday I was on my own and asked her what she was doing, she was with her other friend and said she was going shopping, she asked what I had planned and when I said nothing so far she said "oh, cya later anyway".

In a morning if she's on her own she will come over and stand with me for a chat whilst the kids go into school, if she see's anyone else she will go and stand with them.

It's not that I'm jealous and "want her all to myself" but I don't like being used and I feel like she only wants to know me when theres nobody else around. Getting a bit sick of it really.

OP posts:
LucyJones · 12/07/2007 19:10

I would distance myself from her.
She sounds like a user.

mytwopenceworth · 12/07/2007 19:22

It does sound like you are plan B. It depends how much that bothers you, really.

If you get on with her when you are together, then see her not as a friend, but as company! Enjoy it when you are together, but don't go out of your way to be with her if you don't feel like it. (With a friend you would perhaps give them your time because they needed it, even if it meant putting yourself out)

It sounds like she likes to have you to hang out with when she's got nothing on, rather than be alone. Not brilliant, but we all have people who are not that close, but we see too.

Make her your plan B!

newgirl · 13/07/2007 13:24

im trying to see this from her point of view

i think she has been fine tbh - she said hello even though in the middle of a conversation - if she had stopped talking to this other person - that would have been rude

she could have invited you shopping too this am but maybe she didn't think it was that interesting or just wanted to talk to this other friend? i have one friend who is painfully shy and in the past if i have invited someone else along she then doesnt say anything - so ive stopped doing that.

i just doubt that she means to be rude to you - she obvioulsy enjoys your company and is trying to make new friends too - and not be cliquey even? next time why not invtie her and other friend over for coffee and make it much more friendly for everyone

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