Why are people seemingly so obsessed about being in a relationship?

[CreamyCoffee]

Righty, it seems that all single ladies I come across, apart from one I can think of, are obsessed about being in a relationship. It's all they talk about day in, day out... And I'm like for goodness sake, focused on yourself instead of wasting your energy on finding 'the one', get a hobby, work on your career, education... Why does it all come down to being in a relationship? I'm asking from a place of curiosity... I'm a single lady myself and have been for a very long time, 13 years and I honestly don't want to be in a relationship, I love my life as it is. People around me are always pushing me to find someone etc, I'm not interested. Anyways, comments?

I think society tells us it’s the norm. I have had 5 friends get engaged this year and it’s been hard at times because the idea of having someone want to spend time with you, do things with you, find you attractive seems pretty nice but day to day life I’m mainly okay being single.

Really? Must be a social group/area thing. I’m 31 and I never hear my single friends obsessing over dating or finding someone. They might mention it in passing but it’s certainly not their focus. They’re too busy living their lives and working careers and seeing friends and engaging with hobbies to be obsessing over finding a man.

I feel the same as you op, however as I've got older I have come to appreciate that Every one is different and it's not wrong to want to find someone special ( even though I don't understand it)
But- I wish other people would understand that we are all different and stop saying stupid patronising things referring to my single state !

I've been single for 10 years (after a serious heartbreak that completely destroyed me) and it's the most stable, peaceful and secure I've ever felt. I now have very strong feelings for a new person and although he is lovely all I ever feel is worry, anxiety and stress over thoughts of other women and the prospect of it not working out the way I'm hoping.

If it goes wrong I will never attempt it again and will happily remain single for the rest of my life. I'm 34.

Do you reckon you would've had the same feelings of envy if, your friends had all gotten new cars for instance? Could it be the number of them getting the same thing, rather than the thing itself?

Above reply for belulah

Donoteatyellowsnow, I too feel very secure in my current setting, and can't imagine disrupting that peace for a relationship. I feel in control being single, but being two means losing some of that, can't afford that

I’m in my 40s, love being single and have every intention of staying that way. I’m infinitely happier & healthier than when I was married. So all good.

Single and happy. It depends, I guess if you were actively dating then you might talk about it more, although not necessarily obsessively.

Long time single.
I have a f friend 3dc to different blokes and current partner abusive but because she has the 3dc she is completely convinced abuser is the best she will get.
It frustrates me so much.

I want to stay single I don't like the odds of getting a cheat or abuser.

I wish I had more single friends :-(

I was so happy as a singleton! I loved being independent, and though I regretted not having someone to spend special time with and so on, I learned to love myself and my own company.

Now I'm married to a man who was even longer-term single than me (previously married with two DC) and I'm so happy like this too, though it took a little time to allow myself to feel all that horrible anxiety concomitant with a new relationship and putting your happiness in someone else's hands. (My reasoning was that I loved him already, whether we were married or not, and that the pain and uncertainty were always going to be there so we might as well be married as not!)

My best friend has bounced from abusive relationship to abusive relationship and has had a really rough time. She's finally dumped abuser #3 and has learned to be comfortable being single and is starting to learn to love and value herself enough not to jump straight back into another relationship. I'm so proud of her!

Really, it's horses for courses, but I think that learning to love yourself and your own company is thoroughly beneficial in both single and married/partnered life (and imo is best learned while single though YMMV!)