Advice needed - how to stop worrying about irrelevant people’s opinions?

[Sunshineafterthestorm]

How do you stop preventing your own happiness because you’re too worried about what other people will say?

Stupid eh, I know what advice i’d give to people on here and my friends so why can’t I give it to myself!? I’m recently divorced, been single a year since he decided one day he didn’t love me anymore.. for the last few months I’ve been dating someone who I used to work with (in different teams but we met via work) nothing ever happened, we would have a laugh and a joke but I was (well I thought I was) happily married. A few stupid office rumours went round the office about 18 months ago that we had kissed at some work do (whilst I was married) which I just laughed off because it was ridiculous!

We started talking a few months ago and have been having a great time since but I feel nervous about us ever being public because I just know people will comment and assume something was happening before my marriage ended.. again not the case, I was devastated and spent months putting my life back together when my husband dropped the bomb he didn’t love me anymore. Neither of us work there anymore so I really don’t see why I’m so bloody worried about it .. even writing this I feel ridiculous! I’m in my late 20’s and have no children (he is the same) so it really is just us to worry about and nobody else..

Anyone have any words of wisdom or had a similar situation?

Fuck them. Why would u let irrelevant colleagues get in the way of your happiness? They wouldn't let you

Many years ago I was bothered and upset by something a few colleagues said about me. My DH asked me if I valued their opinion at all. I definitely didn’t, they were rude and judgemental My DH said so why are you bothered about what they say about you? That really helped me put things into perspective. And I’ve applied the same thinking very the years n different situations

What does it matter what other people think. You know what did or did not happen. You’re both young and single, relax and have fun. You said it yourself in the heading - irrelevant people’s opinions.

*over the years

It sometimes takes being in at least your 30s, if not 40s to begin to not give a Pygmy FF what other people think about you!

One of the few advantages of age and experience! But if you can remind yourself that, in reality, the most fascinating subject in everyone's life is themselves, that they, in fact, beyond a bit of gossip, also do not give a Pygmy's about you and this guy.

People love gossip, no need to feed it, but also no need to change your life to avoid it. And, ask yourself how many of those who might 'stir' will even be on the furthest periphery of your life in 2,5, 10 years' time?

If it won't matter in 5 years don't even give it 5 minutes thought...

I'm late 30s, divorced and finally don't really care what people I don't know, or who don't know me, think. My friends know the real me and they're the opinions I care about

Thank you all for the words of wisdom, I know you’re all so very right.. just need to keep reminding myself x

Bun the time you're 40 you definitely learn not to give a shit about what other people think. I only wish I had figured out in my 20's that other people's opinion of you really don't matter. If this guy makes you happy then go for it. It's great that you have this lovely chance of a relationship so grab it.

'By' the time

My mum is like this. It was constant when I was young and as a result I’m very damaged by her behaviour because of what “people” thought.

Life is short to build your life around people who probably don’t give you a second thought. Your life is just that. Your life.

All those people that you don't work with anymore are thinking things like,
'Why has my cat stopped eating the food he loved when I just bought a box of 40 sachets?'
'What is the difference between mauve and purple?'
None of them are thinking about Sunshine and her new beau.
Go on a night out, nobody will bat an eyelid.

Great advice as always from everyone on here, thank you once again xx