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Original poster

Need to have some friends in my life....anyone???

35 replies

lonelyguy · 05/04/2019 10:16

I am made myself so lonely. Been in a relationship with my ex for 13 years, all her friends and family have now all disappeared as she has bad mouthed me to everyone.

Since my last post we have decided to keep the kids together but she is moving out. I will be working a few days a week through an agency but in the meantime I am so lonely.

When she takes the kids to school (i collect them), my heart breaks that I am all alone and have noone to talk to.

So if anyone wants to add me as a friend or message me I would be so grateful. Man or woman. If I sound desperate, its because I am. Sorry.

OP posts:
Alaria44 · 05/04/2019 23:16

Definitely feel you OP.
Can be hard to rebuild and make friends.
Feel free to PM Smile

Like PP said, this can be a great platform for support Smile

Itstimetoquit · 06/04/2019 16:12

How are you today ,I'm in same position as you not many friends at all,i think it's time I put effort into getting my life back

S0faSl33p6 · 06/04/2019 17:10

Some pubs do quiz nights. You don't need to drink alcohol in a pub.

Olikingcharles · 07/04/2019 02:54

Same here Op and it's so lonely. I feel your pain.

MeowTseTung · 07/04/2019 10:12

This is uncannily similar to my situation. Even down to the 13-years bit although I'm very fortunate that I'm still on good terms with my ex and DD.

I also put everything I could into our relationship at the expense of maintaining all outside friendships. And like the OP I now find myself completely alone with no clue as to who to turn to for advice or just a little companionship.

Right now I'm awaiting a consultation with the local autism assessment service to find whether or not that could be an influence in how things are with me and why I've got to where I am. Without wanting to pre-empt things, I guess it would explain a lot. But what I do know is that whether that is the issue or not, I find it bleedin' difficult to make friends IRL or even to start or maintain a conversation with anyone new. It's a minor miracle I ever met my ex and - even more so - got married in the first place. Much as I would like to, I don't think I could hack a new romantic relationship or put anyone else through that. I must have been a nightmare to live with.

But in terms of moving on and just getting myself out there, I so wish Singlenotsingle's account of how to go down the pub alone was that straightforward Sad. I know I should bite the bullet but I seem to have been biting said bullet for so long now, it's starting to wear me down.

Sorry if that seems downbeat for a Sunday morning, I hope everyone on here ultimately finds what they want and need.

Original poster
lonelyguy · 08/04/2019 10:38

I have responded to many of the replies i have on here and for those who have posted over the last couple of days - I will be getting around to you as well.

I have added a few people from here to my facebook so I am less lonely than I was before. I have joined Meetups and have browsed around several topics on there. I will keep you all posted and I appreciate anyone who has messaged me privately or on here . It does mean a lot.

OP posts:
Lialia270 · 08/04/2019 10:45

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Musti · 08/04/2019 12:07

OP do you do any sport or would you be interested in that? Join a badminton club or a 5 a side or a triathlon or a walking or running club. That way you'll see the same people regularly and make friends that way. They often also tag social events so that would be good too.

As someone who has moved lots of times, the best thing is just to be nice and start talking to people. It is hard to do but once you have a few friends then it's a lot easier. Also, chat to your kids' friends' parents and invite them in for a drink. Organise going to the park etc with them.

Original poster
lonelyguy · 09/04/2019 11:37

Singlenotsingle - in certain situations when i am comfortable i can be the one who starts a conversation. however, walking into a bar on my own would not be one. i used to be on a pub darts team in my teens and i have played skittles as well in the past. i dont think i would ever be comfortable in a pub unless i had someone with me. then after a month or two i would be ok after getting to know. but on my own i am too chicken.

Itstimetoquit - i have pm,d you and replied to your first reply. not sure if you have received it?

S0faSl33p6 - i wouldnt going to a quiz night if i had someone to go with. never will happen on my own. thanks for the suggestion tho.

Olikingcharles - feel free to pm me.

Musti - i was recommended the Meetups app which I have looked at and browsed a few walking groups on there. I am aiming to join one. I used to play football on astro turf 10 years ago but am definatley unfit at the moment. Have started to lose a few pounds here and there. I am confident in certain situations but its few and far between I meet someone who says more than one sentence.

OP posts:
SherlockHolmes · 14/04/2019 18:44

How are things lonelyguy? Have you been to any MeetUps yet?

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