Ldr with no progression

[dragonflyflew]

Been seeing a guy for a few months after a few months of chatting online met irl in November and been inseparable ever since . We have loads in common , love each other’s company and amazing sex etc but have two very disparate lives in two different cities.
I’m prone to anxiety, some jealousy and occasional ruminations! We have had a chat about where ‘we’ are headed but neither of us will likely ever be in a position to live with the other based on our kids and attachments in our own areas including jobs, friends etc.
He’s lush but it’s not going to ever go anywhere, neither of us will ever leave our respective towns etc so I’m not sure how long to carry on. it just seems at some point it has to end... my feelings fluctuate all the time. He brings me so much pleasure and adds value but our relationship is all or nothing, due to travel etc when we are together it’s very hard to get on with every day stuff, chores etc.
We miss each other when apart but it’s not easy to just pop to see each other for a quick cuddle, cuppa etc...
I just don’t want to get hurt or hurt him further down the line if either of us decides it’s not viable.
What to do hivemind?

I'd say you only met in November and it's just turned April. Early days! Anything could happen in another six months, or a year or two. You may not feel the same about each other as you do know. Relax and enjoy what is a very new relationship and don't overthink it.

Thank you Dexter. I’m a chronic overthinker, catastrophising and what iffing everywhere!

I am in a very similar situation, I spend my entire day overthinking and trying to make sense of how it all will work out. I have finally decided to stop stressing myself over it, whatever happens, happens. We are currently happy and absolutely no problems going on so I wasn’t worrying myself over nothing. I don’t know what he future holds for our relationship but I’m determined to let it all happen as time goes on.

Was worrying*

latenightcup thank you for replying. I’m glad it’s not just me. We’ve talked about it and realise we’re not going to progress from where we are which is a very fun and loving place. Absence and distance definitely make us appreciate each other when we’re together but I do feel a bit vulnerable when we’re apart because I’ve never had great relationships and trust is very hard for me to muster!
We gel in such a way that makes me want to carry on seeing him, it’s rare that I find someone as ‘quirky’ as me so I guess I need to deal with my anxiety which is a feature of my life anyway.

You need to change your mindset and just look for the now.

Most relationships go tits up, 50% of marriages end in divorce, so worrying about the future and what may happen is futile.

Look no further than the next date and enjoy

NameChangeNugget that’s exactly what he says! I get annoyed (secretly) as I want him to tell me it’s all going to fall into place happily ever after but of course he applies logic and then I panic that he’s planning to go elsewhere... I really need to chill, I have a busy life of my own and barely time to see him so I don’t know why it’s such a big deal, brain monkeys I guess!

I think it’s a good sign @dragonflyflew

He’s being grounded, honest, isn’t future faking and sounds sincere to me.

Damn brain monkeys! 🐵

Yeah. He’s annoyingly well adjusted thank you x

He told me he’s scared to plan everything as every relationship he’s had has followed the same course of bf/gf , then cohabitation then a painful stressful and expensive split sometimes featuring divorce and he doesn’t want to do it again.
Tbh that’s most of my experience too. We both own our homes, have kids (mine are much younger) and have good jobs and established lives. He’s right of course, I’m just a bit eeeerghhh about the free fall nature of it!