I'm finding it really hard........

[eggleggs]

Just that really I wrote a post last week about how my boyfriend of 2 and 1/2 years. However I'm really struggling to get over him I know these things don't happen over night but I was hoping to feel a bit better but I don't.

I just needed to write this somewhere where people would understand

Thank you

It takes time. It might be a few months. Don't make any big decisions, take baby steps. Be kind to yourself. But don't stay in and wallow. All those firsts e.g. first time you do/buy/hear X without him - they're all milestones. You'll look back and marvel at what strength you had.

I hope so it's just everything reminds me of him and I hate it, I still love him even after what he did. I don't want to get back with him but it's just frustrating.

Honestly it just gets a bit easier day by day. Very gradual and one day you realise you don’t feel so sad. Just try and keep busy.

My husband cheated on me after 12 years together. And at first, I still wanted to be with him. I thought I still loved him even though I hated him. But, in hindsight, I just wanted my normality back. Change is hard. And a relationship breakdown means that many things change at once.

My advice, although I only realise this is hindsight, is to ground yourself in the normal. See your friends and family who have always been in your life. Do the things you always did. Allow yourself to grieve over the loss of your partner but try to remind yourself that it's only the partner you have lost. You're still the same person, you still have a lot of the same things. Your perspective may be different but much of the reality isn't.

egglegs please read my thread on Arsehole or narcissist? and see if any of it it rings true with you ❤

What helped me was finding ways to be really loving to myself. It strangely manifested initially as high-impact exercise and horror movies, but I kind of went inwards and asked the damaged part of myself 'what do you need to heal?' Initially it was distraction (exercise and horror), but gradually it changed to a rediscovery of self - walking long distances, art (zentangle in particular), blogging, yoga etc. I still ask myself what I need, to feel loved, all the time. When making decisions I ask myself 'which choice is the one that will make me feel most loved?'

The relationship was a car-crash, but the aftermath means it was all worth it, and my life is now so much better. I'm sure yours will be too, OP

everything reminds me of him

Have you got rid of his stuff? Packed away the memories? Bought some new fresh things into your home? Booked some nurturing things to do?

I know its no help, but we have all been there and its rubbish but you come out the other side eventually.

My relationship ended 3 days ago after 10 years and a child together I've got to live with him until I'm rehoused as I have nowhere to go,,it's hard TBH but at the moment I hadn't shed a year,im here if u want to chat

I hadn't shed a tear that should say

Yes I got rid of and gave him back everything he gave me. But even certain cars and stupid things like that remind me of him.

how r u feeling today it's terrible for me today

Today has been alright although is the anniversary of someone I was close with death but I'm doing alright